Bedtime in Brisbane – A Celtic Supporter’s Sleepless Sunday Night

Moral Cup Winners plucked up in Dingwall as the chickens came home to roost…

After the elation of picking up a title-promising 3-3 victory over Celtic at Ibrox, a stunning triumph which prompted a fist-pumping lap of honour from Big Phil, Tav-Pen, et al, the chickens came home to roost. Before the match against relegation-threatened, Ross County, the odds were being well and truly shouted from the rooftops in favour of the Champions-elect, led by the odious turncoat, Hugh Keevins.

Celtic v St Mirren – Reo Hatate right celebrates after scoring his sides first goal of the game during the Premiership match at Celtic Park, on Saturday April 13, 2024. Photo Jane Barlow

Succulent media darlings and fans alike were crowing like Roosters on steroids in anticipation of the £60,000,000 bounty just waiting to be transferred into the face-painter’s account in reparation for past misdeeds. However, The Mighty Roosters transformed into Chicken Littles as Don Cowie’s northern battlers decided to chuck a spanner in the spokes of the runaway train piloted by former Coventry City legend, Phillipe Clement, a vehicle of course destined for glory, glory.

Here’s how it all unfolded from my bed in Brisbane…behave!

Having been alcohol-free since the ravages of last Sunday’s alleged defeat, I felt something in my water and decided to observe the early stages from under the sheets on the web. I was nursing a head cold so after enduring the calamity of a Ross County O.G, I gave up the ghost and turned it off.

Couldn’t sleep, so, as I tossed and turned, it only got worse. I checked my phone. 1-1. My cold turned to a fever as I dashed into the living room and flicked on the Comedy Channel, or, theRangers TV to you and me. I just missed the second goal, and my heart rate went through the roof – see what they do to you?- but saw Sima’s deflation through my fingers as the ref said, “No goal!”

I morphed into a premature Belgian for a moment as I pumped the air. Seconds later, Josh Sims had me contemplating divorce and a torrid affair as he cooly slotted past Jack Butt-land to put County up 3-1. That was it. I knew they were not coming back – with the distinct possibility of a couple of honest mistakes, a draw at best, but still…

As night follows day, the inevitable happened, and Twitterati went into orbit as that weekly meme flashed across the screens.


It was late in the game though, even poor old, ‘What’s the ‘keeper doin’, Tom’ was underwhelmed, and his despair was palpable as the world’s greatest full-back took his penalty tally to a world record,1,000 or something for the season, but at 3-2, too little, too late.

Tom was behind himself as almost-England’s, Jack Butland went through his counterpart, Ross Laidlaw in the County goal like a driverless truck on the motorway in a bid to snatch a draw at the death.

A frustrated Rangers fan alone in the stand after the final whistle. Final score Ross County 3 Rangers 2.  14 April 2024 Photo:Stuart Wallace/Shutterstock

For a second or two I thought I’d inadvertently switched over to Gladiators as the lucid and excitable, theRangers TV commentator felt such actions should be allowed, worthy of another ‘Penalty to Rangers’ even? After all, you’re allowed to go for the ball, even if it means cleaning out the goalie, right?

‘Where’s John Beaton when we need him?’ I thought I heard from the dugout. A call to The Crown Bar proved futile, so the game re-commenced without that stoic propagator of justice and integrity to bail them out..

The shrill of the whistle went, and with it theRangers’ ambitions of cutting Celtic’s lead at the top. The defeated players lumbered off in disgrace, some inaudibly muttering worriedly about how their distraught team-mate, Tik-Tok Todd would see out the night without milking the applause of his social media groupies as their loyal and true fans abused the Champions League out of them from the stands with shouty words, flailing arms, and pointy fingers.

Ross County interim manager Don Cowie looks towards Rangers manager Philippe Clement as the final whistle sounds. Clement did not shake hands with Cowie at full-time Photo Stuart Wallace/Shutterstock

Big Phil? His face, melting like a box of Belgian chocolates in the heat the Ibrox board room during an audit, well, the gaffer did a runner, straight down the tunnel without so much as a by-your-leave, a well done, or a congratulatory handshake to the manager who navigated his troops to a first-ever win over their ‘superior’ opponents.

Incongruous, since there was no debate, no touchline flare-up, no argy-bargy, and, no point…if you catch my drift. Cowie deserved more respect from a man who should have had more class, and maybe a little respect. After all, aren’t Belgians famous for their political diplomacy? As Gene Kelly famously lied, “Dignity, always dignity!”

The stunned Roosters had been plucked by the bemused Staggies, therefore, a happy and glorious lap of honour or a ‘we are the people’ fist-pump might have been out of place, much as it was at Ibrox last week.

This shock result means; Celtic, have retained a four-point-lead at the top of the league looking down on theRangers, and, instead of going two points behind should Big Phil galvanise his Champions-elect to beat Dundee up at The Swamp, the Bhoys will still be top by one, three or four depending on the outcome.  Dundee will fancy it after watching that yesterday.

With five games to go, with one of those games being at Celtic Park against theRangers, with almost a full-strength team in full throttle, against a despondent, deflated team of bottlers, I’m confident. Not overly, just confident.

My good mate, Michael May back in Glasgow reminded me; in the 24 games that saviour of the universe, Clement has overseen at Ibrox, he has the same amount of points as Micky Beale! Philippe is still searching for a win in a truly big game, but you’d know that as the press coverage on that has been phenomenal! Perhaps the media chickens have been skewered?

On Wednesday night, Bayern Munich face off against Arsenal whilst Manchester City attempt to down Real Madrid in the Champions league, two pairings which have had us on the edge of our seats recently and both will be worthy of top viewing stats as they undertake the 2nd legs.

However, I may be forced to flick over to the Comedy Channel once again should a certain result be forthcoming up in Bonnie Dundee.

Josh Sims of Ross County celebrates with team mates Jack Baldwin and Simon Murray of Ross County after scoring to give Ross County a 3-1 lead. Photo Stuart Wallace/Shutterstock

So, this season’s success, or failure, is in our own hands now. Keep the heid, steady the ship, beat the shorn Roosters in Paradise, and, we’ll Fly The Flag! If we do, think on this.

We’ve got £72,000,000 in the bank. As participants in the Champions League, we’ll have a grand total of £132,000,000 to strengthen our team, develop our stadium and upgrade the training facilities, a sum which has been beyond our wildest dreams from 1888, until now. Squander the opportunity at your peril!

Enjoy your week Bhoys and Ghirls. HH

Eddie Murray

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About Author

Eddie Murray – I Grew up with the Lions, coming from a Celtic-daft family. Played against Jinky once! Paradise was my second home and Dalglish was my hero. A long term Brisbane Bhoy for many years and have been blogging here for many years. Written a book on Ange/ Brisbane Roar/ Celtic which awaits publication. Writing on other genres as I speak. Top moments? Interviewing Cesar, Wispy, Cairney, The Maestro, Alan Thompson.

1 Comment

  1. RPM Celticfan on

    Being a Celtic fan i will be following the updates of the game against Hibs on weds , but each to their own i guess ,Bhoys and Ghirls indeed , 😉