Celtic? Poetry in motion! Tom Campbell writes for The Celtic Star

CULTURE

It’s strange that only left feet are considered ‘cultured’ in a football sense. Think of Tommy Burns and Jim Baxter, for examples. I don’t recall anybody being famous for having “a cultured right foot”, but I’m ready to be corrected.

Despite Jim Baxter, Celtic might be described as having the more ‘cultured’ fans: Rangers’ supporters, on the other hand, consider themselves cultured if they had yoghurt for breakfast.

Think of the many actors, comedians, artists and poets who are Celtic followers; and, while thinking of poetry, have a look at these poems with a Celtic theme, (and I assure you the effort to decipher the four Tom Leonard ones is worthwhile).

CRACK

cuts iny thi box

croass cumzthi centre hoff

a right big animull

crack

doon goes Dalgleesh

ref waves play on

nay penahlti

so McNeill complainzty im

oot cumzthi book

tipicl

wan mair upfurthi luj (TL)

 

FIREWORKS

up cumzthi wee man

beats three men

slingzowra cracker

an Lennox

aw yi wahntia seenim

coolizza queue cumber

bump

rightnthi riggin

poastij stamp

a rockit

that wuzzit

that wuzthi end

finisht (TL)

 

YON NIGHT

yonwuz sum night

thi Leeds gemmit Hamdin

a hunnirn thurty four thousand

aw singin

yilnivir wok alone

wee burdnma work then

nutsnur a wuz

but she wuzny intristid

yi no thi wey

well there wuzza stonnin

ana wuz thaht happy

ana wuz thaht fed up

hoffa mi wuz greetnaboot Celtic

anhoffa mi wuz greetnaboot hur

big wain thata wuz

a kin laffatit noo (TL)

THE GOOD THIEF

heh jimmy

yawright ih

stull wayiz urryi

ih

heh jimmy

ma right insane yirra pape

ma right insane yirwanny us jimmy

see it nyir eyes

wanny uz

heh

heh jimmy

lookslik wirgonny miss thi gemm

gonny miss thi GEMM jimmy

nearly three a cloke thinoo

dork init

good jobe they’ve gote the lights (TL)

THERE WAS THAT TIME CHARLIE TULLY

there was that time Charlie tully

took a corner kick

an’ you know how he

was always great at getti thaem

tae curve in, well Charlie takes the corner

and it curved in and fuck me did the wind

no cerry it right intae the net, but they

disputed it, and the linesman hud the

flag up and they goat away wae it and tully

hud tae take it again, an’ fuck me does he no get

it in the net again. you should’ve

seen it. it just seemed tae go roon

in a kind o’ hauf curcle. above aw their

heids. fuckin’ keeper didnae know where tae look… (Tom McGrath)

TEN JERSEYS, GREEN-AND-WHITE

A rainbow, arched across the sky

With many a colour bright

Imparts in the artistic eye

A thrill of pure delight.

The gifted artist with his brush

Can make the picture speak

Depicting rosy tints that flush

On some fair sitter’s cheek.

Italian skies, we are told,

Can boast a vivid blue;

A sunset in a blaze of gold

Has its admirers too.

But, to my partial Celtic eyes,

There’s no more lovely sight:

A sunny day at the Paradise,

Ten jerseys green-and-white. (Anon.)

Tom Campbell, Celtic author and columnist for The Celtic Star

If you would like to write for The Celtic Star on any Celtic related subject you like, please send an email to editor@thecelticstar.co.uk and we’ll get right back to you. You’ll also win a place in our Panini book of contributors!

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor, who has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email editor@thecelticstar.co.uk

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