If Alex Rae can analogise about horse racing I can talk about cycling. Anyone notice the Paris to Nice 2020 ‘Race to the Sun’ cycle event was won Maximilian Schachmann?

Possibly not, fair enough. Give me a break, there is a lack of sport on TV unless you count Boris Johnson trying to defend himself from journalists every night at 5pm. Eurosport is at least offering something.

Talking of Boris and sport, these press conferences are all a bit WWF and Hulk Hogan for my liking. A tad contrived shall we say? He manages to look like a rabbit caught in the headlights, even with planted questions from a specifically invited audience. Marginally less gormless than Neil Doncaster though, yet equally as in hock to the Gods of money.

Anyone who read Doncaster blowing smoke up the backside of new TV sponsor SKY – trying to keep them sweet as he hopes they don’t renege on the new TV deal – concerned no doubt we may still not playing football in November, all the while burning his bridges with BT sport, who we all know had offered a far superior product than the bagpipes and blowhards – yes you Kris Boyd – of SkySports, couldn’t help but cringe at his actions. Shudder in fact.

Incidentally you don’t need to pay for Sky Sports during the coronavirus break in football activity, as The Celtic Star advised last night – well worth a read as it will save you quite a bit of cash if you are a subscriber.

Who are you trying to appease Mr Doncaster? It can’t be anyone who has actually compared and contrasted the coverage of the current providers.

I’d happily forego a large percentage of the new deal from Sky to have Darrell Currie and Chris Sutton flirting once more, rather than watch Kris Boyd try and fail to impress Eilidh Barbour with his wit and intellect. It’s like watching the contract lawyer at the bar pretending to be polite and courteous to the ageing, drunken and dim Lothario propping up the bar, while hoping the barman shifts his arse with her order and she can return to her friends.

Anyway, back to the Race to the Sun. The eight-day event was itself reduced to seven. Despite legal attempts by Ann Budge and Stewart Robertson to declare the race null and void, the organisers gave the trophy to the yellow jersey holder after the seventh day. Day 8 was cancelled because of the COVID-19 crisis. Just a wee thought for anyone trying to deny provisional league champions Celtic what is rightfully ours.

Congratulations to Mr Maximilian Schachmann. I expect you may receive a call from Nick de Marco Q.C in the next few days as he looks for sporting precedents for Celtic’s legal defence just in case ‘the’ Rangers put Alex Rae in the dock.

Just one more thing on Analogy Alex for a moment. It’s minor of course in the whole scheme of the idiocy stuff, but you don’t get one mile hurdle races. Pedantic I know but I had to get it off my chest.

And talking of provisional champions. One more thing.

Peter Lawwell’s statement this afternoon was perfectly timed, delivered as it was, as all the Scottish clubs got together to agree on league reconstruction and awarding the premiership to Celtic, should the league be unable to be completed. Allegedly.

His comments on a null and void statement were a wonderful two fingers across the divide when he said:

“The season cannot be voided as the consequences of that are so severe. In the event that the matches cannot be completed, then the responsibility to find a fair and reasonable solution for the finalisation of all domestic leagues will be with the Scottish football governing bodies.”

However his final broadside was even more delicious and beautifully delivered:

“Everyone at Celtic Football Club and Celtic FC Foundation is aware of how Coronavirus is impacting on our communities. We are pleased to announce today that we are putting resources in place with the aim of helping the most vulnerable in our society during this period and we will make an announcement shortly with regards to these plans. Our aim is to do as much as we possibly can to help those in need.”

In one statement Peter Lawwell defends the club and reinforces the ethos of Celtic, all in one fell swoop.

All the while making Ann Budge and Stewart Robertson, on previous public utterances, appear akin to those selfish gits in supermarkets nicking 48 bog rolls when all they need is four.

Respect where it’s due Peter. Loving your work, on this at least. Maybe you could take advantage of the enforced break in place to get to your ‘To Do’ list, read the 5 Way Agreement then give Auldheid a call to apologise and call him in for some long overdue retribution?

As far as the Rangers losers in the League Cup Final and Scottish Cup semi-final, trailing Celtic by a massive 13 points when play was halted we suggest this if the fixtures cannot be completed by 30 June as UEFA wish.

Annouce Celtic as the Provisional Champions and award the the other European places based on current league positions, then when play starts again in August or September let’s finish the league, get to 38 games and see who is having the title party.

It’s Nine in a Row Magic and then we can do it all again and win the TEN. Loved Tom McNeil’s Opinion piece on this subject on The Celtic Star last night…

Niall J

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