It’s a bit like choosing between Charles Manson or Ian Brady to be the Godfather to your first child. Or coming back from shore leave to find a choice of Deidre Barlow or Jimmy Krankie lying on a king size bed with a bottle of Bollinger on ice.
One of them is going to have to get it, and however much you’d rather it was Anna Friel you still have to play the cards you’re dealt. Bad dreams are made of these!
Sometimes in life or indeed nightmares you have those difficult decisions to make. Today, watching the second League Cup semi- final of the weekend between Hearts and the Rangers was a bit like that.
Given the choice of the Devil and the deep blue sea I’ve always said I’d take a chance on my breast stroke carrying me through. Today Celtic found out we will have to face up to Satan’s first team.
But Hobson’s choice aside, we now know what we have to face and it shouldn’t worry the Celts.
So what are we actually up against?
Well let’s take today’s game for a start. If Austin McPhee was actually auditioning for the role of Hearts full time Gorgie punch bag, he made a fine example of finding an excuse for not wanting it.
On today’s performance I can’t say I blame his subtle avoidance techniques.
Anyone who saw the last encounter between the sides at Tynecastle would have seen Ikpeazu being the single player that caused the Rangers defence no end of trouble. As such McPhee’s decision to bench him seemed like employment suicide. I’m fairly sure he had that in mind.
The decision to play the arthritic grandmother impersonator up front instead backfired spectacularly. Nearly sent off for a flying elbow in the first half he decided to compound the issue and chuck a deafie to the whistle and throw himself into a challenge for the ball with Alan McGregor as the first half petered out. You’d almost imagine his allegiances lay elsewhere. Almost.
It was a bit like your mate starting a fight with the big fella at the pub, and as it got split up he’s pretending he’s still trying to get at him while you and three pals hold him back. Truth is had you let him at him, he’d be on the way to the toilet before you could say ‘square go’.
Steven McLean is done as a top flight footballer. It’s possible his first half performance culminating in his substitution saw paid to a career. The truth is he never was that top flight player in the first place. When the team sheet went up I’d imagine a collective ‘what the ****’ resounded around the Jambos WhatsApp group.
McLean didn’t even see out the half. Self-neglect can only go so far. McPhee soon subbed the Hearts striker and gave the Jambos some sort of hope. On came Ikpeazu.
The half ended with Helmander breaking an apparent ‘offside trap’ to send the Rangers in one up at the break.
The second half started to show what Celtic may have to be aware of.
Ryan Kent remains the one genuine threat the Rangers have in the attacking mould. He’s backed up by Barasic who should have played against us rather than the ‘emotionally controlling’ domestic abuser Flanagan at Ibrox.
He is a far superior footballer and one of the few players we’d have to watch in the final. He’ll link up well with Kent.
We have Elhamed to face up Kent, all we’d need is the pace of Forrest to match Barasic, to support him and the threat will be nullified.
Today Kent fed Morelos and within a minute of the second half starting Rangers were two up. John Beaton, today’s plant had to hide his semi tucked into in his waistband.
On the right the Rangers had Ojo and Tavernier trying to impact the game. Tavernier is a threat going forward but to put him on the backfoot will see opportunity knocking for Mo Elyounoussi. I’d be tempted defensively to consider Taylor in the final, however if Bolingoli is ready, forcing the Gers pair backwards will probably negate the threat.
Between them Jullien and Ajer should nullify the threat of Morelos. He can’t create, he’s fully dependant on service form wide. We should be able to cover that, plus we’ve got Scott Brown ready to pull the baw hairs from his Escobar inspired pant moustache. That should be enough to alter the lad’s new found discipline.
In the middle of the park is where the real battle will come to the fore. Ryan Jack was the Rangers best player, and has been for a few weeks.
Alongside him the ageing but still influential Steven Davis will have to be watched. I’d be tempted to say Callum McGregor offers more than either player and if there are dregs to be picked up Scott Brown is a match for Davis if it comes down to one on one.
So what about the positions that wins games?
Well Edouard is what Morelos dreams of being, if Eddy fancies it the Gers backline is going to be pulled here, there and everywhere, and in the number 10 role even Arfield (if he plays) would accept his star is in the descent whilst Ryan Christie’s is very much in the ascendancy.
Back to the game and Hearts had the final nail in their coffin when Morelos showed there was no missing the target, in the 62nd minute the Colombian netted the third. Kent showed Clare a clean pair of heels before cutting back for the striker to score his second.
I said as much pre-Ibrox in the league, there is nothing to fear from the Rangers bar the impact on our ticket allocation. If we match their genuine threats then Kent, Barasic, Jack and Davis are the best they have to offer. We have enough to negate them and impose our game on them.
So it could have been the Deep Blue Sea. Instead it’s the Devil at Hampden on the 8 December.
On today’s showing I don’t fear the Rangers. Not so sure they’ll look across the City and say the same thing.
Play our game and it’s in the bag Bhoys.
Niall J
ALSO ON THE CELTIC STAR THIS EVENING RELATING TO THE BETFRED CUP FINAL…
Betfred Cup Final, Celtic versus ‘for simplicity’s sake, I will call them Rangers,’ David Potter
First Ever Cup Final between Glasgow clubs confirmed, Celtic 4 short of a Century