SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE GRAPHICALLY EXPLICIT REVIEW OF THE SEASON 2022/23, PART 2…

If you missed Part 1 earlier today you can catch up below…

READ THIS…Sandman’s Definitive Graphically Explicit Review of Celtic’s Season – Part 1

Now where were we?

Moment of the Season – January equaliser at the Brown House. “Ke canny score agains…” League secured. And then there were five. And many, many more Zombie tears.

Hyeongyu Oh scores our second goal during the cinch Premiership match against Hibs at Celtic Park, on Saturday March 18, 2023. Photo Steve Welsh

Hyeongyu Oh celebrates scoring our second goal of the game against Hibs at Celtic Park on Saturday March 18, 2023.Photo Steve Welsh

Happy or sad? Staying or going? Everyone’s got a different opinion and every day has a different report on the young desert skelter’s Celtic status.

After a blistering start to the seasoning another Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Mola Ram performance – ripping the Zombies hearts out again – he faded, injured, got moody and appeared dislocated.

Liel Abada celebrates with Matt O’Riley after scoring their team’s third goal during the Cinch Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and theRangers on September 03, 2022 (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

“They Zombies gos smashed, and nobody leaves here till we find out who did it!”…

Jota of Celtic scores their team’s second goal during the Cinch Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Rangers FC at Celtic Park Stadium on September 03, 2022 . (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

Moment of the Season – A TIE: the Brazen Heider / the chip against the Zombies then the Jinky fist.

And it’s now time to reveal Sandman’s Player of the Year…

Taylor calling morelos fat boy lol pic.twitter.com/ZuWNApkDGJ

— Hazy (@hazybhoy) January 2, 2023

Greg Taylor celebrates scoring the winning goal at Tynecastle Saturday October 22, 2022. Photo Jane Barlow

Time for some HONOURABLE MENTIONS…

: Yuki Kobayashi of Celtic FC

: Tomoki Iwata of Celtic FC

Eddie Turnbull’s notable highlight – walking football Skelping fourth goal back in September.

Reprieve in the post? Someone else who won’t be too displeased to see the swagman up his Matilda and walkabout off to Spurs. Raquel opened the season with a sweet header against the Sheep, then gave us a performance above and beyond in Leipzig. We will see what the glamorous goddess’ future holds (tragic note: she’s deed, RIP beautiful).

Greg Taylor and Stephen Welsh, Celtic against Aberdeen on flag day.( Photo by Steve Welsh/Getty Images)

Jamesy – Sidelined for most of perhaps his last hurray, you cannot keep a bad boy down, as the majority of Prestwick’s adult female population will testify. The eternal Jamesy underlined is subtly brilliant Celtic career with his 100th goal in the Hoops. So raise a toast to him deserving his testimonial tribute. Drink to a fantasia contribution to the cause. (But remember – don’t leave your empty glass lying around; you know what happens then…

Celtic v Hibernian – James Forrest with the matchball Photo Steve Welsh

Like giving a toddler a can of Red Bull and watching the wean try to force a square block into a round hole, the goat-worriers in black went at us with VAR as soon as they got their cloven hooves on it; penalties for the ball within a yard of yer baws offsides conjured from Voldemort’s jockstrap, the introduction of the nae Zombie-handball filter…And in the end they did what they do best – they failed like the servile pigs they are.

How entertaining were they? Yes, carl, we know…Now shush. Led by mad-mental Fran ‘F1’ Alonso, the Ghirls took the league title to the wire before being cheated by a coven of surrendering Zombiette witches and their snide coach Yosser Hughes. Revenge was sweet a week later when they defeated same harridan cattle in the Scottish Cup Final, even having to battle ginger-ringer Ron Weasley to get their hands on deserved silverware.

Moment of Season – Smile…

While we believed he was preparing take his place in the vaunted halls of Celtic legends, little did we know what he was involved in. Only thing that really irks is his temerity to quote ‘the immortal’ Tommy Burns. You were a year to two from the honour of being mentioned in the same breath as Tommy, Ange. And you fell way short. Ultimately you were exposed as just a preacher in your own travelling show, trying to invoke sainthood.

G’day and good luck.

THE ZOMBIES

So the urine-guzzling heathens emerged from their mirage of Seville and set out to destroy us. And got destroyed. The 4-0 massacre at Paradise may have been 8 to 10 had we not the small matter of the visit of Real Madrid. They escaped that one with the luck of the anti-Irish, but Gio got his jotters once Jota hit form our autumn run gave rise to more carnage. In came Wind In The Willows’ Mr. Mole and we put the wind up the Williams to take the crown just as their king gothic stolen array of colonies jewels’ planked on his horse-loving heid, thus book-ending a miserable season for them since Van Hesling took out Betty back in September.

Moment of their Season – Dead Rubber Cup Champions.

OVERALL

Well the Bhoys bust them all; smiled the scurrilous Zombies and their 1872 managers (incidentally, same amount of goals they conceded in the Champions League, and laid wast nearly every callus attempt to upset the jolly Celtic bandwagon rolling over all before it.

Europe was the acid test and we narrowly failed despite tripping through periods of games on surging psychedelic Celtic attacks, making five times the chances we expected but taking five times less as well…

From poor in Paisley to Magic Messi – the title won with a phenomenal run of coruscating football between September and Christmas, a scorched earth policy that left the Scottish Premiership looking like a pyro Zombie’s exploding fingers and Celtic clear before Santa sat wee Gio down and told him theRangers weren’t real and he’d better vamos.

And here we are now – all trophies and no managers…Let’s hope the universe has a fondness for a glorious Celtic cantos to be told, and not a jaunty limerick with a sickening punchline.

And that’s that for a sparkling, fascinating season of shenanigans.

Thanks for the fun. I’m off for some sun. Last thing to relate…

Go Away Now.

Sandman

HUGE SAVINGS IN THE CELTIC STAR’S SUMMER SALE!

The Celtic Star’s book promotion has been so successful, with hundreds of books at great prices being posted to Celtic fans all over the world, that we’ve decided to continue with the sale until the end of July. We’ve reduced all six books currently available from their usual retail price of £20 and prices are as low as £6 (see below).

All books are high quality hardback, with some signed by the author. And it’s also worth noting that you only pay postage on one book, so it’s free for the second, third and so on. ORDER HERE or click on The Celtic Star image above…this is how it feels to be Celtic!