Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – ‘I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be Edouard,’ Alfredo Morelos

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BROON – 8/10

Yes. On it like yer Beetle bonnet from the start, ladies… Broony redefines thuggery into an art form the despicables cannot fathom. Yes, he’ll kick yer heids off an hustle yer effette ingenues with his particular form of gentlemanly raffishness, but ultimately its all conducted with a level and quality of finesse you zombie vermin reprobates can never comprehend. Because you sanction the use of Alan McGregor in nets; And that’s your sophistication level. LMFAO.

CALMAC – 6.5/10

Subdued and off the pace – lucky not to pick up a card (or two). Calmac failed
to show his class and tantalisie the Hun midfield as he has done in the past –
a tactical decision not entirely his fault.
Instead we had him scrapping beside Broon, a role he’s not designed for, yet
one he admirably stuck to task.

CORPUS CHRISTIE – 7/10

Roving, boundless energy, just failing to find the space and time to make a major difference. Watched over by his Dad as he stormed the gates of Hades, young Corpus was always a hair’s breadth away from linking up to devastating effect.

Cannot criticise him as his energy and commitment were tremendous, yet his own final ball (and delivery from set-pieces) let us down when it required just a killer pass.

MIKEY J – 6.5/10

And so he faced the trilogy of tragedy. Not this game, this time, for Mikey the Modern New Romantic; no innocuous anonimity as they bludgeoned him with impunity. He wasn’t letting this one go. And depsite his quick feet and tricky-dicky shenanigans being clamped-down upon at every touch, he still managed a magic Mikey moment to release Eddy for the first.

Much of his remit was un-natural – toil over talent, but he slogged it out. Today, Mikey got his act together – as the cool people say – and made sure he was no longer a passenger on the flight through Their airspace. Now the collective monkeys are off his back, in future we’re looking for him to be Kamikaze #1.

FORREST – 6/10

Ah, Jamesy – the only happy people in Prestwick were the glass collectors around me as you got subbed in ignomy. BUT… he worked his roving butt off, constantly presenting as a right-back support and hustling them out of decent possession.

In an attacking sense he flared on few occasions yet I’d lay his lack of positive involvement at the manager’s door – it was always going to be a hard shift for our forward creatives when Lennony surrendered the midfield.

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor, who has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email editor@thecelticstar.co.uk

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