No this is not a picture of ‘Butlin’s Got Talent 2022’ runner-up ‘White Men Can’t Jump (tackle, cross or shoot), instead it’s a social media photo of Shane Duffy, Kristoffer Ajer, Ryan Christie and Celtic star Greg Taylor enjoying their summer break – somewhere that’s probably Skegness or Bognor Regis, after all we all know Kris is somewhat scared of heights, and flying to Ibiza was ruled out early. Yeah we know it’s in Greece but you get the point.
Apparently, the picture received thousands of likes and messages on Instagram within half an hour of being posted, with only a few of them asking why Shane Duffy was giving Kris Ajer a two-finger nipple rub under his shirt. Meanwhile the majority of the other responses were demanding information on when their debut single would be released. Just what the world needs another flippin’ Boy Band!
Well going by the shade of Shane Duffy’s napper, Color me Badd may be about to make a long overdue come back – best look out the Factor 30 Shane old chap, in fact there’s the name for your band right there folks. I’d ask for my 10% but probably just best to put that in the collection box.
But the signs are clear that making money in the shark infested waters of the music industry is hard to secure, as it appears Ryan may have taken time out from his summer kitchen porter duties to pose for the photograph. Meanwhile if Greg wants to be the songwriter it’s probably best to hit the buffet bar in the Beachcomber Bar because everyone knows the songwriter has to have shall we say a little bit of puppy fat around the midriff and jowls – you’re just to lean to pass muster Greg.
Thankfully for all four, dreams of pop stardom are only for the summer, as Shane Duffy, after a tough spell at Celtic, has had a superb season with Brighton, Ryan has been promoted to the EPL with Bournemouth and Ajer lifted the ‘We avoided relegation Cup’ with Brentford. Yet only one of these wannabe pop stars will be playing Champions League football next season – you get them telt Greg my Bhoy!
But as everyone knows a footballer’s career is short and the cliched path to media punditry isn’t for everyone, so it may well be White Men Can’t Jump (tackle cross or shoot) are just warming up for a career post football. Perhaps Destiny’s calling after all!
Niall J
