SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ THE UPSIDE-DOWN

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” – Bill ‘Inject my jizz, peasants’ Gates.

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 3/10 – The metaphor for the evening – Kasper struggling to pick a pass to a player who doesn’t really want a pass and we end up on our metaphysical arses as they’re handed to us. The dressing room revolt will start with him.

TONY THE TIGER – 4/10 – Battle-hardened Tony may be, but there’s only so much experience can do against raw energy and intensity. Run-ragged like the rest of the back three – though I’m reticent to overtly criticise the department of the team most exposed and least supported by the tactical set-up.

OF JUSTICE – 4/10 – As above, and we did see Liam get melted-in, taking a card. Out of frustration mostly, I’d presume, due to the frantic nature of his evening. Attempted to keep his cool, and probably did better than you… But he’s not suited to the role requested. Who is?

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 5/10 MOTM – Alright, he got riled too and yellowed. But he went tit-for-tat against a right tit out to sabotage him with cartwheels and ankle-taps. Was going to critique for the first goal but on replays it’s an un-defendable ball – one in a million from O’Donnell – and if big Auston launches at it, he’s the one scoring. So I’d say this outing, though his lowest point since reinstatement, still provided us with a single pass-mark due to the newfound scrapper in him; applied himself manfully in a hopeless situation as puke-yellow jerseys swarmed him like jakey hornets after spilled Buckie.

KATIE – 4/10 – And so to the fall of Wilifred Nancy, #1. Hooking stalwarts at half-time raises a number of red flags, and most probably will be followed by a bureaucratic red card. But more of that later…And in the vein of dark irony, KT had appeared the one and only most likely to make any inroads during the first-half, bursting through a couple of times to get crosses in. That’s enough of that, garcon, off you come…

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CALMAC – 2/10 – Wherefor art thou, skipper? When the Motherwell keeper has more touches of the ball than the Celtic captain you know you’re somewhere through the Looking-Glass. Lost in the maelstrom midfield, papped at every turn by a busy bee, stung, dispossessed, left a spectator in a domestic contest he habitually dominates. He
must have thought he was playing in the Champions League again.

SAINT BERNARDO – 1/10 – Well, I had imagined Big Paulo would be a fit for sitting deep, tight beside Calmac, founding our midfield domination. If only he had, too…

HAKUNA HATATE – 2.5/10 – That look of trying to work out the clever but, in hindsight, obvious twist in the movie; Reo’s seemingly-fixed expression captured the tortuous ninety minutes entirely. Why was this happening? I didn’t expect it to go like this. Damn, of course… At least he had the benefit of improving his English by reading the names on the backs of the shirts constantly racing away from him with the ball.

NEGAN – 1.5/10 – At Christmas time there’s always the possibility of a miracle in the air. Sit doon, David Blane, because the Swede somehow avoided the hook despite galloping about for the first 45 with all the effectiveness of Mary Poppins in a diabetic ward. One point for the magic trick and a half for hilariously nearly scoring again late on.

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LORD KATSUMOTO – 2/10 – The idea of having Daizen Maeda in your team is that if you’re chasing a game, you’ve got a closing-down machine who’ll bust a gut running around like a demented dug, just looking for the scraps to get you back in it. Or, if you’re in the ascendency, a speed-merchant of reknown who’ll cause backlines to think again and freeze in hesitation. I know this, and someone flipped the kettle off before I was fully boiled. YOU know this because you’ve just read the above and nodded internally…

And so to the fall of Wilifred Nancy, #2; who apparently doesn’t know this. And he’s the manager! Cymbals crash, drum roll, a clown pops out from behind the curtain, ‘Da-Daaaaa!’. And look – it’s flaming Pennywise…

YING – 3/10 – Almost balancing his enthusiasm for the Birmingham Bullring with charging about like a young bullock with brain-damage for an hour. Almost, but not quite…

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SUBS –

FEIN – 4/10 – Damn, what a chance. Didn’t catch it right, but, y’know – he was willing if not able. Deserves opportunity to prove the latter on Saturday.

JAMESY – N/A – Well, when you’re not scoring there’s no better mhan to turn to… Did inject some sharpness into a startled team. Even tried to get everyone on their toes by firstly setting up a Motherwell counter, but that’s Jamesy for ye – if you can’t get your end in, get anyone in…

MELLOW YELLOW – N/A – The kid gets admonished. Not his mess. But maybe his jersey for the weekend. Unless the boss has a cousin on the way from Le Havre who he’s not tried-out yet.

THE TERMINATOR – 3/10 – A whole half to salvage something and establish yourself properly, kid. And then you fall on your backside and the game’s gone…

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 2.5/10 – If Reo was confusion, Luke’s demeanour possibly drew a dark sketch of dressing-room sentiment – sheer frustration and disillusion. Play here, play there, do this, don’t do that… Eh?

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LIONEL RICHIE – 1/10 – Oh, dear. There are moments around failed Celtic managers’ legacies that kind of sink you into the depressing realisation that they’re a busted flush; Kris Commons going off on one at Ronny Deila in Malmo like they’d been married 20 years and he’d forgotten the anniversary. Tony Mowbray throwing Achilles and Jason and the Argonauts at St.Mirren and still going down 4-0…And then  last night. I’d been an advocate of time and reason over WF’s inauspicious start. Then came half-time. And the instant-hangover comprehension that he was, after six and a half games, still staggering about slinging drunken punches into the shadows, like Derek Johnstone in the Mordor hospitality.

Very little understanding of what and who he was working with and the realistic options for success. Three hooks, one – Paulo – that didn’t seem beyond reason, but another two so harsh, illogical and random, I wondered if we were about to be graced with some epiphanic vision of tactical genius that would shame Nostradamus for insight. Nope, that didn’t happen.

What did happen was, to be fair to the continuity aspect, no different that preceding antics, just that Motherwell sat deeper once they considered us bitch-slapped enough. And after the game, by way of explanation, we got five minutes of abstract conceptualisation in classic French existentialist murmuring that has no real effect other than to deepen the furrows on your troubled brow.

Wilifred is very much esotericism and hypothesis. It charmed the Americans. Apparently it worked for a while. But we didn’t need a Ronny Deila with a degree in psychology from St.Tropez (RIP Brigitte, baby; what a woman…), or a Jean Paul Sartre. We needed a Zinedine Zidane to command respect from a disaffected playing squad and crack them into winning form. And he’s about as far from that as the Zombies are from civilisation. And they might just end his brief Celtic romance in classic tragic style come the New Year. The clock’s ticking, and not just on 2025.

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MIBBERY – 3/10 – Ross The Red Card Toss running the line and Clancy Drew in the middle with his pernickerty way of inhibiting the Hoops, and they weren’t even stretched for mibbery. Threw some yellows around for yuks and future hinderance but Hogmanay will be sweet for them.

OVERALL – 0/10 – Yikes. Bamboozled at the Lanarkshire Broadmoor. Dynamic, fluid, drilled with precision and able to transition with style and zest. And not us. Stranger Things indeed as Celtic experienced the Upside-Down and may have as well been sat on their sofas as Motherwell took the ball off us and played us off the park.

It’s one thing starting slowly and another failing to start whatsoever. Once our Bhoys realised they had a game on their hands the ‘Well relentless press had turned them into jam and spread them all over the place. We tried to get tight but we couldn’t get near them. Our back three were rag-dolled and chucked about like used porn mags in prison. Our midfield played bingo with the jersey numbers tearing past them, and our starved forwards beat boredom by counting the Zombie interlopers in the home crowd. Of which there were many. As usual.

We have the better players, with values and wages multiples above that of the home side. So this contest came down to tactical systems. Theirs not only levelled the playing field, it negated ours. By fine, disciplined execution, granted. But, chillingly, soberingly – not with much difficulty. It was the closest thing to Angeball we’ve witnessed in three years.

And there’s where we are. NOT where we should be. Or going. Is there a solution? A quick one? You might have it. Social media will propose many.

I’ll just say it – Big Ange. Up the road, or in from the cold, or warmth, or wherever Greco-Aussie deities go to rest. Give him everything he wants. Get him in, rattle some egos, inspire some winners, put Celtic back on the road again in style. Then you can yak all you want about succession and dynasties and young blood and ideas… But from a dominant, winning, pulsating Celtic position.

And breathe.

And on that note…

Thank you very much for your attention and sentiments through 2025; Always appreciated and always glad to read your opinions or differing takes, or contentions even. Although they don’t really count because these ratings are flaming definitive as you cheeky lot well know…

Have a terrific Hogmanay and New Year, all.

You’ll know how well it’s going come sunset on Saturday…

Slainte.

Go Away Now

Sandman

From Munich to Motherwell, Celtic’s Decline and Fall by Nicholson, McKay, Tisdale and Nancy…

Here’s everything that Wilfried Nancy had to say at Fir Park last night after Celtic’s damaging 2-0 defeat to Motherwell. Celtic were truly dreadful all around the park and the blame lies with the Celtic Board who have to go and they have to take their manager with them.

From Munich to Motherwell, Celtic’s Decline and Fall. Time for these two to go and take their manager with them…

Q: How do you reflect on that?

Wilfried Nancy: “Tough night, tough night. We faced a good team, collectively really good. I knew that today could be a bit difficult because of the way they play and where we are at this moment. I think the first half, we had imbalances at certain moments because we were in between to press and to be patient and to jump. We conceded the first goal on the throw-in and the cross. I think that we can do better on this one.

Time to go Tisdale and take your pal Wilfried and his coaches with you. 

“We didn’t create too much. The second half, we were more of a collective to jump and to win the ball. This is what we did better. We had a few opportunities but it was difficult to score. After that, the game was about an offensive transition for them because we missed a few passes, we missed a few things technically at certain moments. This will be the reality for tonight.”

Q: You’ve said after previous defeats that you’ve seen positives in the games. Have you seen any positives at all tonight?

Wilfried Nancy: “Tonight was a tough one. This is the reality. I think that I saw positive stuff defensively in the second half. The way we were able to cope with the way they imbalanced us in the first half, we did better in the second half. After that, it was not a good game for us tonight because we missed many, many things. This is the reality for tonight.”

Q: You made three changes at the break, what was the thinking behind that?

Wilfried Nancy: “It was planned because Daizen [Maeda] and Kieran [Tierney] have played a lot of minutes. In the beginning, I wanted them to be on the bench but also I wanted them to be part of this game because they are important. That’s why the idea was to give them only 45 minutes for this game.”

Continues on the next page…

Q: So you planned to take them off at 45 minutes?

Wilfried Nancy: “Yes, because they were tired in the situation. They ran a lot and they’ve done more sprints since we came in. They did a lot of sprints. Physically, I have a concern with that. I don’t want them to be injured. I needed to make choices regarding that.”

Q: That’s five losses in seven. Do you feel under pressure at all? Concerned?

Wilfried Nancy: “As a manager, personally, this is not something that I want and this is not something that we want. After that, the pressure doesn’t change the way I think about this because we know that we have to do better. But for the moment, this is a bit the reality. I knew that it could be like that. We had good games at certain moments. Tonight is a difficult one. The last game, the first half was really good. The second half could have been better. So this is a bit the reality.”

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🍀 @CelticFC manager Wilfried Nancy on the progress he sees his side making and the challenge of facing Motherwell tonight

“I can see improvement every time.” 🗣️

𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 @sbk | 18+ | 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝐺𝑎𝑚𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑦 pic.twitter.com/cOeJTomE3v

— Premier Sports (@PremSportsTV) December 30, 2025

Continues on the next page…

Q: Are you confident that you can turn all this around?

Wilfried Nancy: “Yes, I’m confident because, again, I had to make choices tonight regarding the team that I made. Also, we have a few players away regarding the situation. So, again, I’m confident with where we want to go. The reality is, for the moment, this is for this game. This was a tough game. It was difficult for us in this game. But I think that we’re going to get better.”

Q: The game this weekend against (the)Rangers, do you feel this could be defining for your future?

Wilfried Nancy: “No, not at all. Each game for me is important, and for the team is important. I don’t think about my future. I think about what I do now and what I need to do to improve the team and what we need to do also to improve the team. This is the way I think.

Q: Do you understand why supporters would be concerned? Some good things in the first half at Livingston, and tonight so few positives. They’re not seeing progress?

Wilfried Nancy: “Progress, there is progress. But tonight, again, where we are, and the opposition that we faced was difficult. This is the reality. I’m not accepting that, I’m not saying I accept that. I’m saying that this is a fact. Now, what we need to do to improve that, this is something that we’re going to work on, and we’ve been working on since the beginning.”

Q: Are you confident Paul Tisdale and the recruitment team can get you the players you need to rebuild the squad?

Wilfried Nancy: “Yes, we are working on that. This is the idea.”

Q: Wilfried, you said you thought this was a tough game but the Celtic fans look at this as Celtic against Motherwell. Motherwell have a tiny budget compared to Celtic. So is that your stance on things, that this was always going to be a tough game for Celtic? They don’t expect it to be a tough game. Can you understand that?

Wilfried Nancy: “Yes, I understand that. But for me, there is a context, there is a fact. This is the reality. I’m not saying that I’m an underdog. I told you that before. When we play a game, we want to win the game. But the reality at this moment is, for this game, we didn’t have a good game. After that, we can talk about the budget. Yes, I know where I am. I know the club that I work with. I know that perfectly. I can understand the concern. But at this moment, this is the reality.”

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Q: You mentioned progress. Were there signs of progress tonight?

Wilfried Nancy: “No, we had progress at a certain moment, yes. But again, this is not enough regarding what we wanted to do. So again, for this game, it’s not a good game. This is the first time that, since I’m here, that we struggled a lot. And this is the reality for this game. Now, previously, we had good moments, good opportunities. We had also good games at certain moments. We are working to be more consistent and we’re going to do certain things in the future to be also more consistent. But for the moment, yes, I can understand the concern, but this is the reality.

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‘I saw good stuff’

Wilfried Nancy says his Celtic side are ‘going to be better’ against Rangers after their defeat to Motherwell. #BBCFootball pic.twitter.com/GOXobs5THl

— BBC Sport Scotland (@BBCSportScot) December 30, 2025

Q: Do you understand the enormity of Saturday against (the)Rangers as well? How massive it is and the enormity of the game in the context that you talk about?

Wilfried Nancy: “It’s a rivalry. I know Celtic against Rangers. I know that this is a rivalry game. I know what it means And we play this game. I do this job also for that, to play this kind of game. And we play, we want to play with passion. We know that, what does it mean to play a rivalry game? So again, tonight is tonight. We’re going to have more days to prepare the game and to rest also and to face this team.”

Q: On the evidence of tonight, Wilfried, do you feel this is a team that’s fighting for their manager?

Wilfried Nancy: “Yes. Tonight, it was difficult at certain moments, yes, but I have no concern with that.”

Q: Is Saturday a must-win game?

Wilfried Nancy: “Yes, like every game.”

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🗣️ “I knew this game could be difficult, knowing where we are and where we want to go…”

Celtic boss Wilfried Nancy on their 2-0 defeat at Motherwell, as he looks ahead to their clash with Rangers & potential January arrivals ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/4ldGw8hMrH

— Sky Sports Scotland (@ScotlandSky) December 31, 2025

Celtic in the Thirties – Both Volumes Half in the Celtic Star Books January Sale…

Both volumes of Celtic in the Thirties are now available on Amazon Kindle, with the links to order below. Signed copies of both volumes are available on hardback from Celtic Star Books and if you would like author Matt Corr to add a special dedication to your copies please let us know. Order hardback copies HERE or for Amazon Kindle click on the links below…

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