SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ FEENYANOORD…
“This could be Rotterdam or Amsterdam
Liverpool or Home
‘Cause Rotterdam’s where Martin wins
You’ll never walk alone
You’ll never walk alone”– The Beautiful South, ‘Rotterdam’.
THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 8.5/10 – Magnificent Schmeichel family traditions maintained in Holland. Two world class Danish legend specialities kept us in the game, and ahead. One fluff when he punched instead of claiming led to time standing still for a few milliseconds, but overall no wonder they named a Corrie dug after him.
KATIE – 8/10 – Since cementing his chapter in Scottish football history by becoming a national superhero, KT’s just looked more like… Well, KT, than ever before. Tricky proposition tonight facing up to their best asset – some brill-creamed, man-bunned, posing, whining metrosexual pain in the bhaws. But handled stoically and solidly.
UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD5 – Feyenoord Rotterdam vs Celtic FC, Netherlands Colby Donovan of Celtic FC looks dejected after conceding his sides first goal during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD5 match between Feyenoord Rotterdam and Celtic FC at the De Kuip in Rotterdam, Netherlands, November 27, 2025. Rotterdam Netherlands Photo Matrix Images/ Marcelxter Bals
MELLOW YELLOW -7.5/10 – “Big rampaging lang streak o’ phish INCOMING!” yelled the opposition’s defence in unison, in continental gibberish or whatever language they speak there, usually requiring a tablespoon of phlegm trapped in your larynx to pronounce anything anyone local can comprehend. And the bhoy in from the chill burned up the doubters with a focussed, enthusiastic performance, particularly instrumental in the third goal.
OF JUSTICE – 7.5/10 – The Liam Legacy is fast becoming a string of contrarily terrific displays in circumstances where Playstation FIFA virgins have already prophesied calamity on a grand scale. Once Liam’s nerves settled over a misplaced Brodge sideball, he defaulted into Ginger Baresi mode and his prescience (see what I did there, Dune fans?) was acute and unfaltering.
CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 7.5/10 – We’re still waiting on him burning out after a startling run of 90 minute appearances. But no sign of that as the Yank who’s not a tank uses that sinewy athleticism to perfectly complement his fellow lefty in central defence – a number of interceptions and stiffings tonight exquisitely-timed.
Continues on the next page…
CALMAC – 8.5/10 – Bossed it. Called the shots, took plenty and gave back good as he got, picking up a clever yellow. Relished his dual role of digging in and sparking retaliation with quick forward balls. Amazing what he can do with the right protection in the middle to ally with.
Speaking of…
THE TERMINATOR – 8/10 – THIS is how the bhoy becomes a great – aggression coupled with ability. Needs more of whatever he’d been smoking before kick-off. Put himself about like he owned the shop and threw in moments of genuine quality. MON has nailed his most effective role – a HOLDING midfielder with licence to roam into forward openings. At least we’ll have this to remember before the new Pope rolls in and plays Arne in nets…
HAKUNA HATATE – 9/10 MOTM – Peak Reo has been achieved once again. In conditions like one of Jamesy’s fan meet-and-greets, Reo relished being dripping-wet and slapping around some Dutch as he found his sweet-spot, mercurial and unplayable. Recently his team-mates have been the ones finding him more difficult to read than Bonnie Blue’s dad flipping through her diary, (…Saturday: got railed by some Onion Bears, or ‘the tiny teddies’ as I like to call them, lol…”) but there he was, bang at the centre of the storm changing the game with guile and savage execution. Excellent stuff.
Vintage Reo. Give us more.
Continues on the next page…
HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 7/10 – Luke, Luke – Luke at the big goal nets, and Luke at the wee ball by comparison. Now go kick the wee ball into the big goal nets and do a cheer; it’s that simple. “But, whit aboot the white wooden hings between thum?” Well, try your very best to avoid hitting any bits of that, especially from a yard out…But, Luke – Luke did pretty well after the worst miss since Senga Macsuckface of Ludge 69 Nae Thanks, won a Larkhall ‘beauty’ contest. Played as a wing-back instead of a confusing all-out winger, he gained precious seconds in possession to pick a pass. And while he annoyingly fluffed a few, the peach of a pitch that brought gasps from Tiger Woods at a city centre upmarket knocking-shop, was backspun to perfection for Reo to latch onto and set-up the equaliser.
Reo Hatate of Celtic celebrates scoring his team’s second goal with teammate Daizen Maeda during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD5 match between Feyenoord and Celtic FC at De Kuip on November 27, 2025 in Rotterdam, Netherlands. (Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images)
LORD KATSUMOTO – 8.5/10 – “I am Godzilla! You are Japan!” Daizen screamed as he careered towards their dithering stoned keeper. Who must have thought he was still tripping as an extendable Japanese boot got in the way of his clearance and skittered to the Alert Reo to pounce. “Gotcha!”. This was Daizen showing his worth in Europe with a nauseating, dizzy torment of their defensive unit. It’s one thing to play at being a Kamikaze pilot, another entirely when you’re running the channels Han Solo in the driving continental rain desperately seeking a break. And Daizen does it with disturbing enthusiasm. And seems to love it so much he should consider keeping doing it in The Hoops until, say, ooh, June 2026 at least…
Yang Hyun-Jun of Celtic scores a goal to make the score 1-1 Feyenoord v Celtic, UEFA Europa League, Group Stage, Football, Stadion Feijenoord, Rotterdam, Netherlands – 27 Nov 2025Rotterdam Stadion Feijenoord Netherlands Photo Kieran McManus Shutterstock
YING – 7.5/10 – “Rotterdam! Ro-tter-dam! Not Bir-ming-ham…” called his interpreter from the bench as Ying scurried about in the torrents of driving rain, too keen, threatening to pull something – which, as Jamesy will tell you is not difficult in a city famed for it’s… bluntly, hoors. So Ying gave us a fully committed hour or so of much-needed directness which gave them problems and us a goal; taken with delicate deadliness off the outside of his boot closing on the back post at speed. Sweet.
Continues on the next page…
SUBS –
Benjamin Nygren of Celtic celebrates scoring his team’s third goal with teammates during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD5 match between Feyenoord and Celtic FC at De Kuip on November 27, 2025 in Rotterdam, Netherlands. (Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images)
NEGAN – 6.5/10 – Absolutely anonymous for fifteen minutes of his arrival, like playing a man down, then he rips the rigging off and dismantles the goal frame with an exocet. Fancy that.
SAINT BERNARDO – N/A – Good to see Paulo is still alive, and prepared to put himself about for the cause.
TONY THE TIGER – N/A – Architect of yet another tremendous midweek victory. Took the field near the end to savour his work.
TUTANKHAMUN – 3/10 – Engels’ nemesis. “Mikey, what the hell are ye daein?!” was the cry as he cut inside rather than take on and shoot an Arne through-ball so delicious he’d plucked it out of the M&S Xmas range. Then fhannying around in the middle led to loss of possession and Arne had to cover his rear by taking a yellow for the team. The only failure of the night. Tunisian Mikey’s got to up his game.
GREAT – 6.5/10 – Worried? Well, yes. Bit of a tumult to toss the big deranged kid into after his known aberrations, but as learning experiences go this baptism of fire will have done him no harm. Handled it pretty well under pressure. Got over his nerves quickly. By ragdolling one of them. Good lad.
Continues on the next page…
FATHER MARTIN AND SAMWISE GANGEE – 9/10 – Like Pennywise the clown, he emerges 23 years later in the filthy rain of Clogland and causes half the ground to disappear down the drains with Feyenoord’s Euro hopes in a flood of hooped wickedness. “Calm doon, Da’!” Sean Pertwee would holler through the veils as the venerable Martin bounded around – and out of – his technical area, seeking a belated and reprised crowning win to bring the curtain down on his managerial career. And with a tactical setup purely his own he repeated the Netherlands wonderland scoreline of nearly a quarter a century ago, this time in the city we stole the King Of Kings from. But there was no theft tonight, just a well-deserved finale for another living Celtic legend.
MIBBERY – 3/10 – Extraordinarily well-officiated event, including the often-mindboggling (cough, cough, Braga…) VAR monkeys getting decisions logically and sensibly accurate, meaning no unethical damage was done, even though the bedraggled ref amused himself in the rain by chucking around yellows at us for a while.
OVERALL – 9/10 – Performance of the season. Doom-laden after ten minutes as they threw everything at us – rockets, mortars, guided-windmills, their flaming dreich weather; RVP even ended up chucking his own weans at us…We survived. And thrived. Intensity, guts, sharp interplay, dedicated teamwork and focussed aggression got us back into the game, carried us through the game, and won us the game.
A marvellous Euro curtain-call for the unlikely but likeable duo that is MON and SOM (Sean O’Maloney…). And that way MON glances back to the dugout to his diminutive acolyte – like Jim Kerr looking round and Charlie Burchill’s there; we’ll miss that. We need that. All round. Here’s to more of that camaraderie, in future, in whatever form it takes.
It’s essential to Celtic’s success.
Go Away Now
Sandman
GREEN FRIDAY SALE AT CELTIC STAR BOOKS NOW ON!
Green Friday Sale Now ON – All books shown now HALF PRICE at just £10 each!
Green Friday Sale Now on at Celtic Star Books, all books other than David Potter’s Celtic in the Eighties, are now HALF PRICE! Great Christmas Shopping bargains, choose from Celtic in the Thirties, volumes One and Two, Harry Hood – Twice as Good, Bould Bhoys – Glory to Their Name – The Story of Celtic’s First Title Win, Invincible, Willie Fernie – Putting on the Style, Majic Stan and the King of Japan – Gordon Strachan’s first season at Celtic and there are also a few remaining copies of Alec McNair – Celtic’s Icicle.
All these books shown below are now HALF PRICE at only a TENNER each and please note that you will only be charged postage on the first book in your order, so order two or more and get FREE postage on the second book onwards.
Shop now at Celticstarbooks.com and support the great historical writing from our authors on The Celtic Star. High quality hardback books and the best Celtic writers all in one place. Also if you are ordering any of Matt Corr’s books he’ll be happy to add a personal dedication, just ask in notes when ordering and Matt will do the rest!
Half Price Sale Now on – All these books now only £10. Click on image to order.
