SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: HONDA SELLIC v STORM LEE WALLACE…

“Surprise yourself every day with your own courage.” – Denham Elliot.

Kasper Schmeichel of Celtic reacts during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6.5/10 – Great feet while we struggled as a collective to find ours. Defining moment at their goal; not for Kasper, but for the outing of zoomers who thought he should have gotten anywhere near it. Stretch Armstrong with a jetpack isn’t saving that. Plenty of experienced character from the best keeper in the Schmeichel family when we were under set-piece pressure in the closing stages; keeping his defenders’ heads in the moment.

Alistair Johnston of Celtic looks dejected as he is substituted off the pitch during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

WAYNE GRETZKY – N/A – The Moose, set loose again. And lame again… Damn.

Kieran Tierney of Celtic arrives at the stadium prior to the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

KATIE – 6.5/10 – More like the KT of PT (previous times…) – surging runs, strength in combat, smart distribution and oozing determination while we fought back into it.

OF JUSTICE – 8.5/10 MOTM – LOL @ Liam Haters inc. Can’t pass – three sumptuous searching balls from deep. Can’t tackle – pinpoint stops against tricky mobility. And the Barndarigg Beckenbauer moment – the forward-thinking wit and movement to make the perfect run into their box and apply a chef’s-kiss of a finish Harry Kane has got on loop as you read. Kept us in it, staged the comeback; outstanding. As Liam would say to those who believe him to be the ‘…worst centre-back ever, man…” in perfect Gaelic: ‘Roon ye, clowns.’

Arne Engels of Celtic celebrates at full time during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

GET CARTER – 7.5/10 – Can’t be understated – alongside the Ginger Baresi, the two of them imposed a chokehold on the point of Graz’s diamond and nullified its potency. After a flurry of indecision, the Big Mhan got his heid right and thereafter picked them off, held a strong line and won the crucial balls. Some expressed concern at him laid out on the turf as the final whistle went but I can assure you he was just trolling The Diets…

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Callum McGregor of Celtic during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

CALMAC – 7.5/10 – Ah, the re-emergence of the Kapitan as an influential, game-changing figure. I wonder why? That’s a rhetorical question, dimwits, because I’ve been rattling on about it all fucking season like a parrot with head trauma… Play. Someone. Beside. Him. Young Arne got the job tonight. And after the opening tussle, with Calmac digging in on defensive duties, something clicked; positionally he fell into a groove, was recycling the ball and ramping up pressure on them as we began to look like Celtic again. Splendid orchestrated clash to draw the wild challenge as he gambled on his bravery and fortitude to send the boy packing after that wild swipe. Calmac knew what he was doing, believe that.

Arne Engels of Celtic is challenged by Emanuel Aiwu of Strum Graz during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE TERMINATOR – 8/10 –  The Skipper’s right-hand man. Once settled and finding the correct physical pitch, Arne forced himself into the game and showed why there’s Bundesliga pedigree in the fundamental case for his inclusion. The middle felt more solid for the final hour of the game, while he embossed his overall usefulness with blistering deliveries deserving of goals, one which produced the winner after speed of thought and boot had also set up the equaliser. That’s the Engels we want to see. More, please.

Benjamin Nygren of Celtic scores his team’s second goal with a header during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

NYLON – 7/10 – Eh… Whit? “He’s phish! Get him tae …” FIFTH time lucky! Or was it sixth? Zero to hero with another nod of the head that didn’t result in the front rows ducking, the keeper cackling with glee, or him looking like a cross-eyed hillbilly. Say what you might about his questionable presence at times, but the rule is this – effort and consistency brings reward. Whether that gangly effort reminds you of the follies of the great Martin Hayes…
…Or has you banging your forehead off the seat in front, he was at it until it paid-off and we’re all flaming well-relieved about that. Fair play.

HAKUNA HATATE – 6.5/10 – “He’s phish! Get him tae…” #2 What the hell do we do about Reo? Like a ninja, he’s in and out of the game, bewilderingly obtuse or scintillatingly sharp. Can be stressful watching him blunder, only to suddenly find a rhythm and look matchwinningly guileful. Never knew what he’d come up with tonight, but in the end it was mostly positive flamboyance laced with sublime moments, and contrasted with some dizzying incidents; a bit like watching The Banana Splits at a house party with Timothy Leary.

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Sebastian Tounekti of Celtic competes for an aerial ball against Tim Oermann of Sturm Graz during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

TUTANKHAMUN – 7.5/10 – “Ooh, Mikey, Mikey… Mikey, Mikey, Mikey Jo…hnkonekti…” Blurred out the MJ resonance tonight as he too got his act together after a shaky first quarter, and found his touch and trickery; wing-play that makes a difference is what we’re after and he maintained that knee-trembling threat for full-backs all his time on the park.

Kelechi Iheanacho of Celtic is taken off the pitch after being seen to by medical staff during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

ITCHYCOO PARK – N/A – Silenced questions over his fitness by lasting a full 2 minutes.

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SUBS –

KENNY JOHNNY – 6.5/10 – A whippet with an eye for goal. A skelly eye, but time may tell if he’s got the finishing to gild the movement. Bhoy would really prosper in a team that moved the ball forward quicker but that’s another argument..He seized his moment and deserved more than some sharp play delivered. Liked the way he hustled himself back into the game after fading beyond the break.

Colby Donovan of Celtic is seen during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

MELLOW YELLOW – 6/10 – Frantic entry and a need to just feel his way into the game. Exuberance of youth threatened to betray him with some scatty positional play and wayward distribution. But he got his act together – clever movement and shuffle in helping create the equaliser – and gave us another game worthy of the Jersey Thursday… (See what i did there, fans of sixties psychedelia?).

Michel-Ange Balikwisha of Celtic during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

BALIKMORY – N/A – Wisha upon a star… And he did it again, wangling game-time via bemused backroom staff. But this time, ‘Who’s that guy?’ gave the coaches some tidbits of consideration with decent moments at either end. Ladies…

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Brendan Rodgers, Manager of Celtic, greets Jurgen Saumel, Head Coach of Sturm Graz prior to the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD3 match between Celtic FC and SK Sturm Graz at Celtic Park on October 23, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 7.5/10 – Sunday: “The players are mince, it’s no’ ma fault.” Thursday: “Ah meant it…Reverse psycho stuff, know whit Ah mean…” Aaaayyyeee, Brendan, we believe ye. Then had a dig at me – yes he did! That’s definitive… – for giving him the tactics to win it. And I’m not even on a retainer. Whether the dressing room is really with him, we’ll find out on Sunday, because that’ll be a scrap for glory if we ever have one this season.

Tonight he did the right things for a refreshing change after grinding his vision into the Dens Park slurry; sent out a midfield structured more like a load-bearing truss than a house of cards. Bore the weight of difficult, improvised changes and felt that weight lift from his shoulders with a – hopefully – motivating victory. The only question would be, how much of it was down to his design?

MIBBERY – 4/10 –  Verging on the confusing, infuriating foreign gimp repetition of Euro adventures past, but landed a mostly agreeable executer of the rules.

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OVERALL – 8.5/10 – So… After half an hour of unsettling Brendanball the players staged an onfield revolt and indulged themselves with an hour of Angeball which blew Graz away and provided an heartening comeback that should have been 8-1 as opposed to just the brace. Well, that’s one take on it… Just to have the Brendanistas
cooking in their simmits. A more justifiable view is that the Hoops found a long-missing mojo and the ability once more to raise their levels, the overall tempo, and assert their dominance again as the alpha-males of this particular Paradise.

Courageous wins of this sort are golden because it’s more than points or results – it’s vindication and belief for the Bhoys, in themselves and what they can achieve despite the criticism and insincere nascent attempts at humiliation. From within, even…This was a victory for the embattled squad. Nobody else. And the perfect one with which to roll into the capital and bludgeon the Teemu Diets. Would have proposed a weekend share of the points was acceptable before last night, but now I’m thinking we could – and should – enjoy smacking around Wee Deek’s upstarts.

Roll on the weekend. ‘Roll’? Funny, that’s also the name of the new Zombies’ German who during the war were referred to as…. How’s that working out for ye, Danny Boy?

Thank Ghod somebody’s keeping up the co-efficient…

Go Away Now

Sandman

Celtic in the Eighties by David Potter, signed copies by Danny McGrain available from celticstarbooks.com 

Don’t miss the chance to purchase the late, great Celtic historian David Potter’s final book. All remaining copies have been signed by the legendary Celtic captain  Danny McGrain PLUS you’ll also receive a FREE copy of David Potter’s Willie Fernie biography – Putting on the Style, and you’ll only be charged for postage on one book.  Order from Celtic Star Books HERE.

Celtic in the Eighties and Willie Fernie – Putting on the Style both by David Potter. Photo The Celtic Star

Danny McGrain signing copies of Celtic in the Eighties by David Potter. Photo: Celtic Star Books

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