I was sent this from my cousin and thought that with a little editing over at The Celtic Star HQ it might amuse some of you this afternoon…
Rangers v Celtic Scottish Cup quarter final at Ibrox on Sunday 8 March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou
If on arriving at Ibrox Danny, Danny Rohl was able to meet his Fairy Godmother and was granted 12 wishes, here’s what might have happened…
theRangers Unveil New Manager Danny Röhl at Ibrox Stadium on October 21, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)
WISH NUMBER ONE – Fairy Godmother: “Name seven Celtic players you would like to be injured for a big Glasgow Derby match against the Rangers.”
Kieran Tierney and Callum McGregor at Ibrox. Scottish Cup quarter final on Sunday 8 March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Cameron Carter-Vickers, Alistair Johnston, Jota, Arne Engels, Callum McGregor, Kieran Tierney and Kasper Schmeichel.”
WISH NUMBER TWO – Fairy Godmother: “How many managers would you like Celtic to go through this season?”
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Oh about four would be good. If one was a pensioner who has been out the game for years that would be good.”
WISH NUMBER THREE – Fairy Godmother: “How much would you like to spend in the January transfer window?”
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Oh about £10-15m please.”
WISH NUMBER FOUR – Fairy Godmother: “And how much would you like Celtic to spend?
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Nothing. They can have some loan deals if they are lucky.”
Joel Mvuka at Ibrox. Scottish Cup quarter final on Sunday 8 March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou
WISH NUMBER FIVE – Fairy Godmother: “Anyone you would like them to take on loan?”
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Yes, there’s a guy called Mvuka who is looking for a club. He is hilariously hopeless. He would be good.”
WISH NUMBER SIX – Fairy Godmother: “If you were to meet Celtic in a Scottish Cup match how many shots at goal would you like them to have?’
Danny, Danny Rohl: “None of course!”
WISH NUMBER SEVEN – Fairy Godmother: “What if it goes to extra time?”
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Still none!”
Jack Butland at Ibrox. Scottish Cup quarter final on Sunday 8 March 2026. Photograph by Vagelis Georgariou
WISH NUMBER EIGHT – Fairy Godmother: “In the unlikely event it went to penalties what kind of keeper would you like?
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Someone who has saved EIGHT of his previous NINE penalties.”
WISH NUMBER NINE – Fairy Godmother: “And what kind of keeper for your opponents?”
Danny, Danny Rohl: “One who has only played three or four games this season.”
WISH NUMBER TEN – Fairy Godmother: “And who should take your first penalty?”
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Oh our captain, James Tavernier. He’s had years of practice. Superb record. In fact I would bring him on just to take a penalty.”
WISH NUMBER ELEVEN – Fairy Godmother: “There’s a toss of the coin to see who goes first. in the penalty shoot-out. Do you want it?
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Yes, definitely want to go first.”
WISH NUMBER TWELVE – Fairy Godmother: T”here’s a toss of the coin to see which end the penalties will be taken at. Do you want it at the Rangers end?’
Danny, Danny Rohl: “Absolutely!”
Fairy Godmother: “Okay young Danny, your 12 wishes have been granted. Now don’t mess it up!
Here are the Scottish Cup highlights that show you how Danny boy got on…
Hope you enjoyed that!
Eddie Murray
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Absolutely hilarious … this is a keeper , ( not the one in orange !) 🙏.
All very true and getting overlooked as usual.
Let’s not forget, just how many money has been invested into that toxic shithole, and a good possibility of ending up empty handed yet again?
A player trading model that remains in tatters, on the back of another embarrassing European campaign?
We might have not hit anywhere near the heights we were expecting ourselves this season to date yet?
But we still have already achieved more than the scum, would only been to happy to have achieved?
So while operation of deflection remains in place, they still have to face the ruins of what we have left them to deal with yet imo?