MIBBERY – 2/10 – He doesn’t like Liam, this one. But the way the game went, we never gave him any cause to antagonise or show bias. We probably irritated him mostly by causing cramp in his writing hand with every time he had to scribble ‘GOL’ in his notebook… (that’s dodgy foreign for ‘goal’, smart-chumps, just in case ye thought ye’d spotted a spelling mistkae…).
Kasper Schmeichel of Celtic looks dejected during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 Knockout Play-off First Leg match between Celtic FC and VfB Stuttgart at Celtic Park on February 19, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
OVERALL – 3/10 – Well, that was comfortable… Said Stuttgart as their training session under the Paradise lights with their terrific away support came to and end. And then their manager thanked Celtic for supplying the dummies in green and white hoops who chased them around for roughly ten minutes to give them the brief impression they were playing an actual European match.
He also reached out in charitable fashion to all the weans from some unknown Glasgow estate who’ll find themselves short of rubber bouncy balls to take to school in the morning and chuck at simping woke supply teachers.
Celtic fans leaving early. Celtic v VFB Stuttgart at Celtic Park during the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 Knockout Play-off First Leg match between Celtic FC and VfB Stuttgart at Celtic Park on February 19, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
As for Celtic, we might be thinking of turning up for the tie at any point in the next week. Maybe a wee trip to Germany to get rinsed again? But this time with emotion, as they say in the acting world…And our players looked last night like they thought you get a few takes to get this movie right. Nope. You get just one. And you better give it all you’ve got to be heroes or your classy nemesis will…
Too late. Tie over. Movie – working title, ‘Unforgiven’… – over. No third act drama in Europe this season. As tepid and ineffectual a Celtic performance as the European stage has ever seen. Bemusing to witness Celtic Park silenced by the home side’s timid and lightweight approach before the opposition’s quality clamped our tongues. Eventually, of course, Stuttgart took the offerings being presented to them and cleaned house with nary a boot raised in anger.
Celtic supporters singing YNWA ahead of the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 Knockout Play-off First Leg match between Celtic FC and VfB Stuttgart at Celtic Park on February 19, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
We stood off them, implemented a press weaker than a heterosexual man attempting what the
weeminfolk call ‘ironing’, and ran around cowed, eyes brimming with fear rather than ferocious
with intent. The formula for Euro success at Paradise – tempo, intensity, hunger, desire, aggression, pace, physicality… turned on its head like some carnivore restaurant serving up vegan mush, expecting a couscous and lentil mushroom risotto in lieu of rare fillet and ribs to provide the testosterone and energy to compete with the Reich’s best.
Stuttgart celebrations of the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 Knockout Play-off First Leg match between Celtic FC and VfB Stuttgart at Celtic Park on February 19, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
A year ago Leipzig had been terrorised and we’d traded head butts with Bayern until we dropped at the death. Stuttgart turned up and walked around in slippers, exchanging pleasantries. It was a crippling result and an embarrassing performance. A Celtic side don’t go down like that, meek and resigned. The final fifteen minutes was one of the poorest closing periods of a big game I’ve ever seen in terms of application, and I was in there through the 80s and 90s, kids… Trust me. There’s been much lesser players put in much more of an effort – and their heart and soul – into doing the jersey justice.
Martin O’Neill arrives at Celtic Park ahead of the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 Knockout Play-off First Leg match between Celtic FC and VfB Stuttgart at Celtic Park on February 19, 2026. (Photo by WM Sport Media/Getty Images)
A shameful shambles. A disgraceful pastiche of a Celtic European night. An insult to the past and to the man attempting to resurrect some of his own bygone glory in a last hurrah. These players have got some damning charges to answer. So they’d better be men enough to shake themselves up and deliver a title defence worthy of the badge they wear.
Go Away Now
Sandman
Celtic in the Thirties by Matt Corr. Click on image to order
