SUBS –
Adam Idah of Celtic blocks Hamza Igamane of Rangers during the Scottish Premiership match at Ibrox. Rangers v Celtic, Scottish Premiership, 02 January 2025. Photo O Rourke Shutterstock
DUNCAN IDAHO – 3/10 – What do I want for £9 million? Well, someone who’ll put their head/body/face on the line when THEY are on the line as last man to stop a second Zombie strike heading right at them from getting past. Nope, he ducked out of it; Turned away like a big Jessie instead of taking one for the Bhoys. Shifted around up front for a while trying to make something happen. But spoils his efforts with daft pointless flicks that are never coming off.
Arne Engels hit by coins at Ibrox
THE TERMINATOR – N/A – On the bench due to illness. Lucky him. Then unlucky him to be the victim of typical Ibrox antics – stoned by a thrown butt-plug at a late corner. Result reversed and closed door matches for them for the rest of the season, please. In the interests of sporting integrity and the good of the Scottish game, surely?
Hello? Hello…
HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 2/10 – Jesus H Christ, even the subs are at it. Luke appears then sells the jerseys by gifting the ball to the favela pimp and hasn’t even got the legs to chase or decapitate someone who’s been at it for 80 minutes as they set up the third. Get to the gym.
Alex Valle of Celtic battles for the ball with Nedim Bajrami of Rangers during the Scottish Premiership match at Ibrox. Rangers v Celtic, 02 January 2025 O’Rourke Shutterstock
UNCANNY – N/A – Sorry, kid. Bet you wish Barca hadn’t changed their minds again, huh?
Brendan Rodgers, Manager of Celtic, looks on prior to the SPL Premier League match between Rangers FC and Celtic FC at Ibrox Stadium on January 02, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)
THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 2/10 – Ah, the presser hubris… Egg. Face. Suck…A rare slaughtering by the mortal enemy. Mismanaged on a grand scale by a guy who’s been vocal about squads, responsibility, acting precisely. We got nothing of structure or purpose; 2D flat and sideways meaningless possession football; almost frightened football compared to our habitual frightenING of the opposition.
As for decisive management – HT substitutions in the Cup Final due to underperformance were an exception and not the rule, obviously. How a couple of players in particular and a few others, stayed on the park for so long to the detriment of the Hoops is quite an eye-opener. Was the boss smashing the crystal champers at the Bells and still suffering? So you can add the Gucci Gaffer to the list of New Year Res…Pollutions. An embarrassing and humiliating afternoon for him in FULL live view of planet football due to foreign match schedules. Tactically papped by Baldemort with no answer to a predictable hustle that his system just couldn’t find a way to counter or play through. Now he earns his corn – by setting things right after a disaster like that. And JK too – because he needs a big guy to prise the biscuit tin lid up. Gavin can calculate the leverage required on his laptop/ Xmas ipad.
Match Referee, Don Robertson removes an object from the pitch after it was thrown towards and hit Arne Engels of Celtic during the SPL Premier League match between theRangers and Celtic at Ibrox on January 02, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)
MIBBERY – 5/10 – Forearm smashes? Nah. Niggly Zombies? Nah. Crowd calling decisions? Awright…But little really for them to bother influencing – Celtic were so absent it must have felt like a joyous day reffing the Murray Park training between first team and stiffs for the MIBs. Who were no doubt very stiff themselves from minute seven onwards…
Celtic FC players huddle on pitch prior to the SPL Premier League match between Rangers FC and Celtic FC at Ibrox on January 02, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)
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