Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Dundee Hibernians of Arabia

SUBS –

GREGGS THE BAKER – 6/10 – Indecision appeared to haunt him once more, midweek groans resurfacing in the stands. But he got his act together promptly after the ropey introduction and was popping up to cause them trauma, nearly scoring himself.

THE TERMINATOR – 6.5/10 – You don’t need to understand; you just need to watch Arne at work with objectivity and the qualities that justify the price tag become evident. Presence, awareness, vision. Passing, movement, and mindset. A different, advanced, species of young player than many are used to critiquing.

KHUN – N/A – Loosening up for the reboot of ‘Kuhn’s Revenge’? Let’s hope so. And that he carries more luck in Bavaria.

LORD KATSUMOTO – N/A – The hero we need for the surprise result of the century thrown in for a half-hour warm-down after running Monday’s flight route, and back, to ease the anticipation of savaging some German central defenders… We hope.

KENNY JOHNNY – N/A – He’s as eager and keen to nail his first Celtic goal as we are to see him get some reward for the enthusiasm. Built like a racing snake and has zip, but even that wasn’t quite enough to get on the end of his one big opportunity; Because it was set up by Daizen. From another time zone.

Continued on the next page…