Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Uterus

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MIBBERY – 6/10 – A Twelve-year-old Italian with the whistle. What can possibly go wrong? For them, quite a bit after VAR intervened at the penalty to the confusion of everyone bar the Big Lebowski… “Well, yeah, that’s just, like, your opinion, man…” And there was a bit of understandable anxiety after Bologna and Sunday when we picked up a couple of bookings within five minutes. But in the end, any threat to our numbers dissipated, much like the Italian military in WWII…

Martin O'Neill, Manager of Celtic, arrives at the stadium

Martin O’Neill, Manager of Celtic, arrives at the stadium prior to the UEFA Europa League 2025/26 League Phase MD8 match between Celtic FC and FC Utrecht at Celtic Park on January 29, 2026. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

OVERALL – 7.5/10 – Magic, that’s the job done, let’s hit the pub before half ti… wit. And, awe naw…A canter began to look like a hobble and the crushing anxiety of throwing away a three-goal lead and qualification loomed like Allan the Beast over a drunken debutant at a charity ball. And we were getting far too charitable as slackness replaced intensity and a number of teams looked like replacing us in the draw for the playoffs.

However, like I alluded to above – CHARACTER is the by-word for our title-winning run to come. It’s the magic ingredient this squad had lost, but shows plenty of promising signs of regaining under the current coaching staff. I include them all in that – mental Fozzy, intense Shaun, Open University Strachan and his laptap, and of course the genial boss, still quipping his way through interviews and getting his point across in his cheeky inscrutable manner.

That’s a combination behind the scenes that resembles a movie assembly of comical, disparate characters about to go on a suicide mission against all odds. And here we are. One madcap scene at a time we’re progressing and the team’s finding a way to get the job done in the end.

We’re into act two now, and it involves a prestigious Euro road-trip and a domestic ding-dong against cannon-fodder we know we can take out to set up a Battle Royale of a final third act. Games like tonight, wrestled in and out of our grasp like a slippery fish, are the start of the character arc that just may take this Celtic side to unexpected heights. Provided, of course, that they stay on-script…

Go Away Now

Sandman

Highlights of the match plus everything said at Martin O’Neill’s post match media conference on the next page…

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor David Faulds has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email [email protected]

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