Aberdeen 1-2 Celtic – Time for Some Definitive Ratings

MIBBERY – 5/10 – Nice try. Little Nick did his best to ignore their roughhouse approach to defending and midfield skullduggery, even got the shorts-tenting buzz of awarding a penalty against the champions in a crucial match; a VAR softie but you just knew they were giving it. But, ultimately, there was a sense of impending inevitability about their handling of the game; they knew we were winning this and, surprisingly, didn’t take their line-drawing to excruciating pernickerty extremes at the decisive goal offside assessment.

Sky Sports doing best to gaslight this wasn’t a penalty. On super slo’ mo’ Tounekti crosses the ball – Milne has arm at his side & ball’s travelling past him to Cvancara, Milne then extends his arm to make himself bigger & block ball for corner. Celtic 100% robbed of pen pic.twitter.com/yDIUvMb5R5

— The Global Tablet of Jurisprudence (@gtj1247) March 4, 2026

OVERALL – 6.5/10 – After ten minutes the finest Cubans were getting cut and lit and a brandy poured to sit back in the leather Chesterfield in front of the roaring open hearth and have the butler rack up a plate of smoked salmon and cress (or is it just moss?) sarnies while the Celtic dismantled the Sheep on their way to eliminating the Zombie Twins’ goal difference. After half an hour it was spilled Superlager and robotic munching of a family bag of Doritos to quell the nerves, watching crouched behind the stained and threadbare DFS twin-seater that’s still racking up insane interest payments on the never-never.

🗣️ “It’s not about performances at this time of the season, it’s about the points”

The full-time scenes as Celtic secure the win at Aberdeen to move up to second ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/l4kmDV7p4V

— Sky Sports Scotland (@ScotlandSky) March 4, 2026

As struggle in the North, akin to Victim A’s Aviemore ski-slope ‘encounter’ with Al Mac that’s yet to be trialled. Allegedly. I mean, what really would the need be for a man to be wandering bare-bottom among snowy pines beside the piste in January, your honour? I digress… Glenn Fry sang, ‘The Heat Is On’ – a mince 80s ear-worm that is the preserve of mobile DJs at landmark birthday parties in boolin’ club function suites. “And it could
be on for you tonight, ladies, if you play your cards right, ‘cos heeeeeere’s Jamesy!”...I digress again.

But the heat is most definitely now on for the  bigot brothers as the Celts glide up into second spot without yet igniting all cylinders, and momentum is surging our way. Belief will grow from nights like this, purely a case of dirty jobs done dirt cheap, and with minimal damage.

We get a fun weekend at Hammer House Of Horrors in the hope of sending a few of them flying without wings by Monday morning, before the REAL title decider takes place with the next league match Saturday week. Motherwell, I tell ye – that’s the one to win. They’re the team to beat.

Meanwhile, 29 down, 9 to go. Celtic bang in the mix. Vibes shifting positive. There’s somethin’ in the air, Gregory…

Go Away Now

Sandman

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