SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ THE MANSON FAMILY RANCH…
“Three, two, one… You’re back in the room. Wake up, it’s over…” – Kenny Craig, Hypnotist.
Kasper Schmeichel theRangers v Celtic,31 August 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6.5/10 – Kasper’s the bhoy, or mhan, for these occasions. Unfazed by the conglomerated subhuman trampitude gathered behind both goals and their incoherent abuse that you’d need a linguistics expert to translate; “Huy, Shmeekil – yur uh hingmy phukinhingmy, hur-hur-hur…” But the Legoland goalie kept his head in the game and maybe had our hearts in mouths a few times, yet remains a welcome icon between the sticks for days like these.
Anthony Ralston at Ibrox. theRangers v Celtic,31 August 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
TONY THE TIGER – 6.5/10 – Everything you require from a tiger in the hyena’s den – ferocious, combative, reliable and committed. His rugged style irks the purists but, in Tony’s vernacular, tuck’em; a fine shift from The Brickie.
Kieran Tierney theRangers v Celtic, 31 August 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
KATIE – 6/10 – Up for it, we’ll give him that. But once again expected more in a link-up sense with a new speedy bhoy ahead seeking backup. Although, KT did nearly score the goal of his career with an overhead that’d have burst the net any side of Buttman.
Liam Scales of Celtic wins a defensive header in the box during the Scottish Premiership match, theRangers vs Celtic, Ibrox, 31/08/2025. Photo Colin Poultney PSI
🗣️ “You could say it’s diving….”
Liam Scales on Rangers’ first half penalty claim ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/XEr0OVk3lf
— Sky Sports Scotland (@ScotlandSky) August 31, 2025
OF JUSTICE – 8/10 MOTM – Absolutely outstanding. Virgins and haters, look away now. This wasn’t a Barndarigg Beckenbauer performance, for there was little stepping out into a congested middle, nor a show of Wicklow Wonder guile…Nope, what we saw today was PEAK Ginger Baresi; properly astute defensive nous in a pastiche of the Italian maestro – FIVE magnificent goal-saving interventions within the area of his own six-yard box to thwart the Bedlamites. Three with that flaming bonce and two with his left wand. Say it and mean it – thank the heavens for Liam.
Cameron Carter-Vickers theRangers v Celtic,31 August 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)
GET CARTER – 6.5/10 – Is he on the move? Well, he was in the game – roving like a loose bull, right into the heart of darkness twice; ‘Gaun yersel big man!’ was the cry and if only he had we might have carved out something worthwhile. Remained mostly stoic and commanding as ever under pressure.
Continues on the next page…
Don’t know how you give anyone other Kasper over 4
Spot on. Feck the haters …
I don’t know how anyone can criticise Brendan the Elite’s tactics. It’s all the boards fault. He needs a more quality profile of player in there. One who can inject some speed and quality. And of course, has the ability to check their run, cut back, pass back to the quality we already have who will pass it across to more quality we already have who will then shift it slowly sideways then advance to the other side for another cut back and repeat.
There may or may not be some satire in the above. But definitely not the part about Brendan the Elite. Let me be the first to applaud our glorious tactician. A lesser man would have left greyskull with a defeat yesterday, but not Brendan the Elite who stifled the slick, well oiled, ball playing machine that Russel Martin has created on their home soil to ensure we left still 6 points ahead.
Calmac a shadow of former seasons.
The miles have caught up with the legs.
Time to rest him or replace him.
Hopefully I’m wrong.
We’ll discover after the break with the 2 games a week.
Hail Hail.
Have to agree with, pretty much, all of that, although the keeper’s distribution had me wailing, screaming and praying, it was dreadful.
Oh and a huge, huge thumbs up to Liam Scales, what a performance…thank goodness 🙏🏻
All problems with Celtic will right themselves when :- Rodgers , Kennedy and their bunch of ” Amateur – hangers-on” tell the players ” Right lads you’re supposed to be shooting into that goal ” and point to the opposing teams goal .
For about the last 12 games , Liam Scales has had the most touches and has been the man of the match . Jock Stein / Neil Mochan & Co . apparently fined Celtic players if they passed the ball back more than twice in Training Sessions . The same old formation again 4-3-3 from Rodgers , no matter who or where we are playing . Opposing teams swamp the mid-field and Celtic do not have the :- Skill , strength , speed or brains to vary their game .
The problems at Celtic will not be solved by signing a few more ” Journey-man” players . The sqad is full of ordinary players who are not what used to be called ,”Celtic class”. I think , Sandman that you are more than generous with your assessments —-Only :- Scales , Carter-Vickers , Ralston & Maeda deserve more than 2/10 . The rest were dreadful and could not even make an impact on the WORST Rangers team I have ever seen in my lifetime and i am approaching 80 years of age . I rest my case .
Love reading your synopsis but your ratings are way too high. We hung on against the most abysmal Hun team since John Grieg days. Zero shots on target first half two second half. An elite manager my arse