Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Baron Munchausen

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Brendan Rodgers

Brendan Rodgers, Manager of Celtic, acknowledges the fans following the UEFA Champions League Knockout Play-off First Leg match between Celtic and Bayern München at Celtic Park on February 12, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 6.5/10 – Alright, THAT climate activist in the corner of room should be addressed after escaping a rinsing at the hands of Bundesliga Celtic…You went toe-to-toe, 3 in the middle; what did you expect? Our bhoys are good. They’re not top-level CL good, so why in the name of Jesus do you not give them a helping hand in there to let them breathe a little at these stratospheric heights? People thought Angeball was too easily neutered at this level, even with its inverted fullbacks overload. So what about Brendanbaw? – Overwhelm the midfield three and half your team’s isolated and chasing like demented dugs.

The ‘I don’t need a defensive/holding midfelder shtick is tedious. A savage tasked with only hunting down the opposition/ball is the CL hero we need. So throw in a fourth  and give us a fighting chance at getting some sort of competitive edge in that pivotal midfield area, instead of relying on three valiant musketeers to press and hustle until their legs are wobbling THEN expect them to be fresh enough to create chances to take something from the game. Man, I don’t know. Ain’t my place or job, but sure isn’t anything more than ego on The Brodge’s part; sacrifice a winger, play Daizen middle Kuhn/Jota wide – we’ll still get the same forward impetus, the opportunity to overload on breaks with our dynamism. Which can be refreshed at any time, by the way…And maybe in such case we may not just have to suffer being pinned-in and played with like mice for 70 arduous minutes.

MIBBERY – 5/10 – I thought we got rid of Luis Palma? Here he was, rocking up dressed as a ref… Would we get a break? Nope. But he wasn’t bad – still all smiley and, unfortunately, got all the big calls correct without ‘accidentally’ slipping one for us as a favour. Evidently not a fan of BR. Jesus wept Luis…

OVERALL – 7/10 – Tuesday night: Sporting Lisbon – lost 3, pumped at home, Breasts of France – lost 3, pumped at home, Man Citeh – lost 3, pumped at home… The company was good keeping in case we fell into it. And for a pretty long period of time it looked like we just might. Bayern even dressed up as MIBs to try and unsettle us. Not that they needed to – their terrifying possessive attitude to the football was enough. Cowed we were after the start of starts was cruelly reset to anguished conjecture. Too passive, standing off and admiring their nimble athleticism. But we hung in there like a Zombie at an exorcism, holding onto the CL spirit, defying Bayern until it looked like they were getting bored and turning their thoughts to Oktoberfest’s abundant cleavages.

Then it came – all-too-frequently known CL calamity…A 5-second-to-respite concession, followed a mere ten minutes of match progress later by the daftest Sunday League hangover piece of dreadful organised marking I’ve ever seen from a Celtic side in Europe:

Harry Kane of Bayern Munich

Harry Kane of Bayern Munich celebrates scoring his team’s second goal during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Knockout Play-off First Leg match between Celtic and Bayern München at Celtic Park on February 12, 2025.. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

One of the world’s deadliest – and lispiest – strikers was allowed a FREE volley INSIDE our six-yard box from a CORNER. And of course he was going to bury it – with his standing leg of all things too; He’s still never forgiven Ford Keirnan for the Chewin’ The Fat wallies whistle sketch, thinking it a personal insult. So, alongside the Brugge calamity we manage to manufacture something a whole lot more costly and less forgivable against one of Europe’s best sides, the epic German champion. Nuremberg Trials less forgivable. But the Bhoys have learned resilience, and with great fortitude they refused to lie down, biting back like mad dugs and almost took some fingers off.

Celtic fans tifo

Celtic fans display tifo before kick-off Celtic v Bayern Munich, UEFA Champions League, Knockout Round Play-offs, First Leg, Celtic Park, 12 February 2025 Photo Stuart Wallace Shutterstock

THAT has been our major improvement in Europe this season – resurgence and the mental strength to force parts of seemingly insurmountable games our way or get something out of unlikely situations. So next week’s unenviable task will be to avoid dropping the drawers and bending over for a Bavarian rodgering, and to take the game to them, find the first goal and see what they do about it.

Of course, that’s easier said than done, and I’m pretty sure I know what they’ll do about it…But let’s trust these Bhoys to give it one last hurrah and make sure the CL rodeo ends with us at least being thrown off the horse to glorious accolade rather than being kicked in the head and airlifted out early.

Go Away Now

Sandman

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor David Faulds has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email [email protected]

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5 Comments

  1. Seriously, the ref?, did you miss him giving them 3 corners, none of which were actually corners, and from one they scored. Add to that that he robbed us of all forward impetus by denying us at least two corners, both of which were clearly corners.
    Very poor display imo.

    • Keep up, dafty! Been givin praise where it’s due. And slagged him when it was due. And tae be fair, he was invisible for 60 minutes out wide.

      Let’s not pretend the Daizen with end product this season is the same as the Daizen of the seasons prior.

      If you believe that you’re even dafter than we aw think you are, Joey.