BANE – 8/10
Enormously perturbed about the skipper becoming a bigger super-villain than him. Performed admirably – particularly excellent tip-over from bizarrely-titled alien/predator/sheep/Walking Dead Kingdom king hybrid Dolly Menga strike in first-half.
Great reading of game – well out of his box, in a non-junkie sense – halfway-line, in fact – second half to quell a break. The bhoy’s switched-on and deserves his jersey.
BENNY KOVAC – 6.5/10
Had to leave early with Starsky and Hutch to solve a murder at ‘The Pits’ – Huggy Bear’s club, renamed – very like the Zombies actually- due to ‘accounting problems’.
Anyway, before the big guy quit he provided a surprise inclusion and performed solidly – only question I had was his commitment to attacking corners at either end; a few occasions it looked like he was protecting himself.
KT – 7.5/10
Remarkable energy and marauding enterprise from THE Bhoy of the future. The bhoy’s been blighted by injury but plays like someone called a random fan number and offered the jersey for the day.
Was another in there with a chance to win it but that’s not his job – he performed that consummately well.
AJER – 7.5/10
The Praetorian Guard. Established hero with a drive and more guile than his statuesque appearance indicates. Like the Collossus of Rhodes, he can stride over the Parkhead pitch in no less than four steps. Today, he was again taking responsibility and pushing for victory whilst keeping the door closed.
JOZO- 6.5/10
To me, the Gulag enforcer still doesn’t look totally fit – and I mean 100% focussed as well as physically. Early lapse gifted them a chance but he resumed full Jozo as the game went on – still the best defensive partner for big Kris.
I maintain he’s the best natural defender we’ve had since VVD and plays at his best in the biggest of games. We need him, whatever the Football Manager PC afficionados might claim – Jozo and Kris are a far better defensive partnership than Dedryck and A.N.Other.
And, by the way, big D will soon rock up in the Kit-Kat Club with the leather fetish gear on, cuckolding some Berlin gangster’s missus and that’s the last we’ll hear of him…
BROON – 8/10 MOTM</strong
‘Not acting in the bests interests of m*sonic football’. Again. Leading a Celtic team towards EIGHT in a row. And how lucky were we that the focus of Zombie attention has the strongest psyche in the Scottish game? – because HIS focus was on it from the first whistle – unlike others as we conceded a corner then relied on BROON’s heid to save the jerseys with what
is actually a fantastic defensive block; stopped a certaintly.
And the rest of the game played out the Broon way as it has all season – controlled, clinical and indefatigable. Thank God the captain found his mojo and led the title surge, because he’s more or less been the only truly consistent performer.
But, of course, in the boolin’ and golf clubs and workplaces of the land he’s the boogey man. He’s the undesirable according to the the Zombie inadequates. He’s the shadow on their x-rays, the anomaly in their empirical matrix, the woman theyloved who ran off with the stud with the big boaby.
They hate and loathe him with an unfathomable depth; even the educated Zombies cannot understand their own revulsion. It is a dark thing in their bellies fermenting through lives led wallowing in institutionalised bigotry and racism.
It is why they founder on the rocks beyond the shores of their own wee blighted island, both physically and mentally, it is why they disengage from reality to the great amusement of others when conflict with all things Hooped arises.
It is why we need him here for TEN. It completes the circle like the Hadron Collider opening a gateway to a higher dimension; we level up, their version of humanity crumples
and folds and is swallowed by the black hole of hate they created by their own savage
anal retentiveness. Or ‘dignity’, as they prefer…
CALMAC – 6/10
A great first half when he looked back on his game – the prodding and prompting were class and then….
He faded, got stuck outside their lines and lost his viability; we suffered without his link-up all second-half which gave us fewer dimensions to exploit and resulted in may aimless wide raids.
If we’re not exploiting his form, then we need an option to resort to when he falls out of a game; not Calmac’s blame – incredibly difficult to maintain 90 minutes of bright, inventive, energetic play.
ROGIC – 7/10
Such great kangaroo feet – and so close to scoring. You can see the real TR on the way as his fitness increases with match-sharpness. today, the hour we knew we would get was sometimes sublime and often exciting; tantalisingly short of match-winning ingenuity.
CORPUS CHRISTIE – 6/10
Failed to deliver the messianic communion we ached for. Like Calmac, he appeared sharp and bursting with energy through the first-half, only to eventually disappear into the Livingston defensive morass. It’s what they do – swallow up our creatives and tough it out; no qualms with that – we have the weapons to damage them but today the trigger-fingers were quiet or hesitant.
FORREST – 6/10
Surprised he started given Wednesday’s blunt show. Then his full-back took a yellow before half-time and I thought we’d channel everything through him; we didn’t, yet he was providing some fine wing-play without anyone getting on the end of his crosses.
Almost a flash, but the zipper failed to fully open.
FRENCH EDDY – 6.5/10
Like Eva Green stripped at a movie premiere after-party and shouted ‘Pile on!’ in that
alluring French accent; Eddy had a lot of balls but a lot of bawbags clambering all over
him to stifle his fun.
A few times he wriggled free and a few times he almost pulled the trigger perfectly.
But, ironically, the one clear snap in their six yard box second-half – like his swept
shot first-half – were the moments he couldn’t connect properly.
Give him a partner up front, give him freedom, reap the rewards.
SUBS:
HAYES – 6/10
Continued from where he left off against the Zombies – industrious and dangerous. Many forward expeditions but never got the results his effort and decent delivery asked for.
WEAH – 6/10
Timo! cried the crowd. May have appeared too late. Faced the Black Wall of Livi
like a Night’s Watch from Game Of Thrones. Never got a sniff, bar one sweeping move
when his slide-pass across the goal-face to Eddy was blocked. Play him sooner against
stifling opposition!
BURKE – 6/10, nearly 10/10
But for that touch… And touch is what this £14 million quid lump just lacks. Slip it in from 3 yards and legendary status follows. How he missed it, he’ll never know; we’ll never comprehend. Elephant’s erse, banjo.
LENNY – 7/10
Made the subs when we needed? Just about. Gave the side every chance to break them open. Set up well – everybody’s movement first-half was similar to the game last week; We looked fluent and energetic and keen.
All we needed was the finishing. How this could be used as a stick against him is akin to the Broony citing; nonsensical.
However the armchair Mourinhos will pour out the walls and tell us how different managerial geniuses would have contrived a telling, glorious victory. Aye?
4 april 2018 – Celtic 0 v 0 Dundee. Manager, Brendan Rodgers.
History repeating? Different manager, same dividend; ergo, them’s the breaks. Suck it up, move on, win it next time out.
OVERALL – 7/10
Can the whiners expect more? Obviously, a goal or three, but really? We did everything but bury them. We’ve won creating half the chances.
Fair play to Livi – cunning plan to disguise themselves and play at psych-ops by dressing up as a team of referees.
A few thuggish digs, but their defensive concentration was excellent – like their keeper – until that last moment when the definitive opportunity landed; ironically, a more blatant gift than ANY of our other last-minute winners.
‘No ideas how to unlock a packed defence’ was the cry I heard more than once. Aye, played much football? That packed defence was unlocked time and time again. The final touch was all Celtic lacked; Burke’s last-kick miss summed it up; sometimes it happens – for us, MORE than often.
Today, it didn’t.
Realise how much effort those bhoys have put in over the course of thirteen league games since that aberration on 29 December we rightly castigated them for (and the rat Rodgers):
Eleven wins. Two draws – The form of CHAMPIONS!
Mick and Keith told you years ago – You Can’t Always Get What You Want.
If anything, after Sunday’s exhiblaration, today gives a taste of how difficult it is to dominate for a decade and how fine a line remains between frustration and glory. Just ask big Oli; a snapshot between eejit and historical hero.
Eejit.
Soon, anxious Celts. 8IAR. Soon.
Sandman, lager/popcorn combo on hold…
Read David Potter’s take on the stalemate against Livingston below…
‘Celtic’s Bad Day At The Office but we have all week to think about Aberdeen,’ David Potter
