Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Maryhill Magyars

CALMAC – 6/10 – Quietly efficient outing for the skipper. Main concern was him coming through unscathed, whch he did pretty much without breaking sweat.

NEGAN – 6/10 – Drifted a bit, anonymous for a period then would pop up in advanced role looking for trouble. Still not convinced he’s any upgrade for us and definitely don’t believe we can operate with him and Reo like that against any sort of top-level opposition.

HAKUNA HATATE – 7/10 – Got into a groove and appeared to be enjoying himself, picking off a few sumptuous passes, evading Thistle’s attempts to stifle his space. These are the games Reo uses to lift his spirits and confidence. Let’s hope there’s an immediate knock-on effect to get him out of his early-season slump.

YING – 6/10 – Well, ye might have smiled when ye scored! Still referring to himself as ‘Birmingyang’, he did enough today to ease us through, grabbing a bit of the limelight with a headed opener, even if he celebrated like a Zombie whose johnny burst with Bonne Blue.

TUTANKHAMUN – 8/10 MOTM – Quickly becoming the go-to player. Certainly the bhoy most likely all game, looking on it while others warmed into the game. Had his opponents in a mental tailspin, unsure whether to engage or stand-off; that was them absolute toast even despite the double-team (no, Jamesy…) and he took full advantage. Twisting, cutting, penetrating, a searing knife into melting butter, topped off with a beautiful first Hoops goal. Has now hit the ‘Mikey J False Dawn’ record of two good games in a row, so we await with interest what comes next…

ITCHYCOO PARK – 6/10 – Now, that’s how a centre-forward puts in a quietish-but-effective performance, showing that although service not great and your sharpness not peak, you can still provide movement and link-play and affect the game. Adam.

Continues on the next page…