Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Renton’s Rovers v Celtic

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 7/10 – Cannot criticise his set-up or subs; took action without mercy and probably quicker and with greater surgical impact than anyone expected. The three introductions sparked a resurgence and eventual salvage, only to be denied by ‘outside forces’ to be politely cryptic about those underhand vermin. This one was on the players, not the gaffer.

MIBBERY – 8.5/10 – The most glorious moment and now prized game of the season for these scurrilous conniving hucksters. So desperate for a pound of flesh it came down to blatant public skullduggery – a VAR reversal which was rightly – too nicely – just labelled ‘a guess’ by The Brodge, when we all knew it was nothing less than the manifestation of years of bitter anguish.

McLean wouldn’t think of contesting Muir’s VAR chicanery for a moment, and the linesman didn’t have the spine to back his own call – THE DEFAULT call that situations like this without the appropriate technology must give precedence to – and thus fulfilled his subservient, boot-licking position within the hierarchy, willing to look a witless blind gofer for the sake of institutional malfeasance and sticking one to the Celts. Cheats to a man.

Exposed in one snarling reversal of a crucial event. And not even possessed of the wits to recognise their lapse in facade would be highlighted in all its dishonesty by logical analysis of the corrupt procedure that brought about the decision. One can only imagine the choking, anguished cry-spanking that took place but a few hours later at the Mordor final whistle. Har-de-flaming-har, you cheating Zombie lovers. .

Continued on the next page…