Sandman’s Definitive Ratings, the Coronavirus Cup, Free Broomloan No More

THESE OVER-THE-TOP AND FRANKLY INCONSIDERATE SCENES, revealed today by @tirnaog09 on social media, are the reason why the long suffering supporters of the Rangers – with only a Petrol Cap Cup to their name – reluctantly and with heavy hearts – had to socially exclude themselves from further mass scenes of over celebration in the stadium that Charles Green bought on Glasgow Derby Days.

Now in this close-up video – which for lurkers shows scenes over joy on a par with the day the mighty Peterhead surrendered at Hampden on that glorious Trophy Winning Day, so memorable to you because it’s the only such experience you have had ploughing money into the Great Pretenders that are the Rangers since beating Brechin in July 2012.

“Folk getting excited in the Broomloan after Edouard scored his winning goal in the 3-2 game. For those who get it, few things in life raise the levels like a goal in a big football match,” our ace reporter reveals, and unlike that clown at Channel 4, we can find no fault in his commentary. Sadly it appears to be accurate reporting that simply is unacceptable to the Govanites.

So where you there that Beautiful Sunday back in March 2018? Did you over celebrate? We’d like to provide you with a platform to apologise to both the lurkers and your fellow Celtic Supporters who have been denied the opportunity to head over to Govania twice a season in the expectation of enjoying such moments themselves. Email you memories of this or any other visit to the Free Broomloan to and we’ll publish your confessions. You will feel so much better coming clean and owning up to your role in driving the long suffering supporters of the Rangers to reducing their allocation for the away support to just 800, even it seems in Imaginary Corona Crisis Matches such as that horrible 5-1 defeat we suffered at the weekend. And Aye, bet none of you lot will admit to having been there for that one!

And if you are a fan of Sandman and his Definitive Player Ratings he has taken the lead from those creative sorts among the Rangers support who played out that Glasgow Derby at the weekend and despite Odsonne Edouard giving Celtic an early lead we ended up losing 5-1. It was a bitter experience for the anonymous imaginary 800 Celtic Supporters who all live in their heads and attended their imaginary game, paying them an imaginary £53 a head.

Sandman hasn’t reported on this game. Instead he’s written about a battle of the great diseases and it’s the club that Charles Green founded versus the Coronavirus itself – yes it’s found its way into football incase you haven’t noticed – and it’s frankly too hilariously outrageous to appear on here! But do not despair. You can if you want to laugh your socks off as Sandman tackles the Rangers, find his latest Definitive Player Ratings for the Rangers over on CELTIC NOISE.

There’s also a Still Reeling thread on Celtic Noise after our imaginary 5-1 defeat at Ibrox in the Corora-Cup at the weekend which is also very funny. Signing up to Celtic Noise is quick and easy and it’s a brilliant wee Celtic forum.

But the last word should belong to @tirnaog09….

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor, who has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email

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