I recently undertook a personal project to collate as many Celtic supporter’s stories as possible. As part of that effort, I was sent the below tale, which makes for amusing Wednesday morning reading.
The tale happened many years ago at Rugby Park. An uneventful game, half time rolled around and everybody piled into the pie queue. The protagonist of this story got back to his seat with his pal just before the second half began. Two or three minutes passed when a commotion unfolded a couple of rows in front. It turned out to be a massive guy returning late from the food kiosk with four pies balanced on top of each other in one hand and a cup of tea/coffee in the other. After upsetting the whole row by taking ten minutes to squeeze past everyone, he eventually sat down – two pies balanced on one knee, one on the other knee and the other already under attack in his hand.
To set the scene, this event was taking place behind one of the goals, slightly to the left of the six yard box, and maybe a dozen rows back. Killie won a corner, which was cleared by the defence and it broke out to Durrant at the edge of the box, who “put the guttie through it.” It looked in all the way and it was travelling like a cannonball. Sadly for Killie fans it flew high and handsome, and skelped the huge chap square on the coupon as he was taking a bite of his pie. The mess was surprising, the story teller was hit by bits of meat and dear knows what else. But the funniest bit was the genuine emotion the big guy showed, he actually cried. The other pies that were balanced on his knees fell as he jumped when the ball scudded him. The greedy chap still ate one of them!
