SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE GRAPHICALLY EXPLICIT REVIEW OF THE SEASON 2022/23…
YOU have my thanks for the encouragement and season’s indulgence of my ramblings. Psychotic rants and immature vulgarity are the essence of existence, especially when it comes to football.
YOUR comments, always read, vindicate the madness in my prose, the idiocy in the conception of those surreal Celtic interpretive couplets.
Without YOUR input, the exercise would be pointless, so I’d like to thank YOU for your feedback and YOUR opinions all year, much enjoyed – and take this opportunity to not only thank YOU but have it noted that due to YOUR ongoing involvement, all this is YOUR flaming fault….
That’s right – I’m abdicating responsibility for offending anyone who takes umbrage at anything that might unfold over the next few pages; fleck-all to do with me, I’m just a victim of YOUR consumerism… all legal responsibility for the hurt feelings of the permanently offended is now YOURS. Congratulations and thanks for the get out of jail card…
So here comes an annual analysis beyond the definition of sanity but definitely SANDMAN definitive. As of this moment, all other takes are invalidated. Just to clear that up –
Extract:
The Oxford Dictionary
adjective
adjective: definitive
- (of a conclusion or agreement) done or reached decisively and with authority.
“a definitive decision”. Something definitive is flaming complete and final. - A definitive example is the perfect. flaming. example. ref: Sandman Ratings.Now…
As this will no doubt trigger the conservative and pious, the Brendanistas and cucks, as ever, as…As why I’m here in the first place; after being kicked off elsewhere for calling an Airdrie Zombie goalie…a Zombie. Eh, Yeah…
Anyway, to save yo superior beings the arduous task of chastising me through some stinging rebuke expressing your disgust at my whimsical manipulation of the English language…
Save your hand-wringing psychodramas; don’t read, don’t think about me, don’t pay any heed. Because, take notice, in advance:
I. Don’t. Care. I just don’t care. Riiight…Roon geez. Aaannnd…Enjoy…
Moose! Not that type of moose, loose aboot the hoose; no a BIG MOOSE! With antlers and a hockey stick and skates. Halfway through the World Cup we learned this beaming Canadian kid was on his way and we wondered; who? And why? And we realised JJ was gone. So would we weaken? Definitely no. Thrown in at Mordor, he bit down on the rancid hides there like a frontiersman battling a grizzly with his bare hands and teeth, and never let go.
Six months later, he’s won not all, won us over and overcome the language barrier with eloquence and why. What d’you mean ‘English? Rubbish. I’ve seen The Revenant – They’re mostly French trappers…
Moment of the Season – Threatening Zombies for fun in the League cup Final. Ice hockey energy.
Moment of the Season – Sending Broony”s regards to Neymar at the World Cup.
Moment of the Season – Scottish Cup semi: gleeful Zombies choking on their goat jerky as Tony replaced injured Wayne Gretzky early; and was magnificent.
The nuances of the Star Lord gameplay seem to finally be connecting to the support’s synapses, some procedure akin osmosis, and there’s a murmuring of reluctant appreciation; enhanced obviously by his off-field ball skills also elevating the esteeming which he’s held.
On the park, he did hit a zenith but the peaks were far higher than the troughs and his acuity in pressure situations saw us through a number of sticky situations in the final months; he grew into the responsibility of smitten the Zombie threat and his defensive game tuned in perfectly.
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- Zombies and Inverness. A nearly man we hope will become a starring Bhoy.
Moment of the Season – ‘Bend it like Beckham!’ and soon went Coonty.
300 to victory and headed off to Disneyland
Daizen, Daizen, Daizen – you say it three times because his speed means he co-exists across three different dimensions at once. Just ask the startled Zombies who stood in awe at Hampden as he materialised in their box, swept the ball over with the cross of the season for Jota to kelp them once more.
World Cup star and Celtic samurai – he’s the epitome of relentless dedication to the cause. Pray to the kami he remains with us and continues to play with the intense energy of a neutron star.
Moment of the Season – Semi-Final, Hampden…Dont stop, Zombies, because Daizen never does. Nor does he ever sleep; he waits. Ah, too late, padded, lol.
To be continued this evening…
Sandman
HUGE SAVINGS IN THE CELTIC STAR’S SUMMER SALE!
The Celtic Star’s book promotion has been so successful, with hundreds of books at great prices being posted to Celtic fans all over the world, that we’ve decided to continue with the sale until the end of July. We’ve reduced all six books currently available from their usual retail price of £20 and prices are as low as £6 (see below).
All books are high quality hardback, with some signed by the author. And it’s also worth noting that you only pay postage on one book, so it’s free for the second, third and so on. ORDER HERE or click on The Celtic Star image above…this is how it feels to be Celtic!
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- Summer Sale – Just £11
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- Summer Sale – Just £11
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- Harry Hood – Twice as Good
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- Summer Sale – Just £6
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- Summer Sale – Just £6
