SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ ATLANTIS…
“NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise!… Surprise and fear… fear and surprise… Our two weapons are fear and surprise… and ruthless efficiency!” – Cardinal Ximinez, on unexpected things.
Bergamo’s local newspaper salutes the ‘brave’ Celtic fans in shorts and their capacity to drink beer and create a party atmosphere’!
Bergsmo si colora di biancoverde: in città 1.300 scozzesi https://t.co/gdGmENdNiL— Ronaldopatrizio (@ronaldopatrizio) October 23, 2024
THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 8/10 – Vast experience put to the test behind a defence haunted by the Dortmund spectres, now faced with the free-scoring Europa League Champions (should we repeat that one for Zombie lurkers? Not losers – Champions…). Kasper hushed the critics with a display of sanguine, savvy and speed – in feet and hands as his reflexes reflexed quite brilliantly to twice deny them a half-time lead. Commanded his box really well and never appeared under pressure when asked to pick a pass out of a heavily besieged defensive third. The stopper we need in times like these.
“It was an incredible defence performance”
Kasper Schmeichel was proud of his team after their performance tonight 🙌
🎙: Connie McLaughlin pic.twitter.com/yz7dGn2MSR
— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) October 23, 2024
WAYNE GRETZKY – 7/10 – Did the Canadians send troops to Italy in WW2? No idea, but AJ must have thought he’d become embroiled in some trench warfare re-enactment with the unenviable task of stifling some fascist weapons. That took him some getting to grips with, as Frank Zappa out on their wing kept cutting inside and delivering killer balls with impunity. But the big Moose refused to be overwhelmed and worked his hooves off.Remarkably survived the 90 despite picking up a mad yellow when coming out of the tunnel, an utter bell-end
of a ref (yes, that one from Rotterdam) spanking him so early the shamrock pattern was still on my (first) Guinness. Bit of consternation late-on when he had less mobility than Stephen Hawking but hobbled through the remaining minutes; surely some earlier communication could have seen The Brickie on to shore up? Nonetheless, AJ takes home a proper warrior’s medal.
CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 8/10 – Well, strike me down with a feather off a Cantwell boa, Austin really has powers (see what I did there, Dr.Evil fans…). Hardly a foot or bum cheek out of place as his positioning and competitive instincts got a torrid test. Stood up to bombardment by both ball and bodies as they whipped in lethal deliveries high and low and followed up with midfield runners throwing themselves into the fray. All about focus and strength for a central defender in those frantic circumstances and he remarkably saw it through like a pimp daddy; not a ‘P.Diddy’ – that’s a whole other Ibrox story involving Gough, a public convenience and Pee Wee Herman. Tonight was the night the support gave the much maligned new NFL quarterback (well, he’s American, right?) a pensive nod of approval. Great game.
Yer a stingy bassa at the best of times, but go watch the game again. Idah was way better than a 5.5.