Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic at The Gene-Swamp

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THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 6.5/10 – Took the Kylie Minogue I Should Be So Lucky coaching course during the International break and it paid off…Continues to ignore my tactical observations through sheer stubbornness, even though it’s definitive…Stop playing those two together, Brodge, fhs! Has spent more time fielding questions around the executive operations of Celtic than actual focus on the playing side and today it showed; a grind for the most part, involving the same banal method as recent disappointments. Yet, like some players, he gets a pass given the circumstances. Three points from an anti-football pit during a turbulent period in the club’s recent history; we’ll take them and shift quickly towards European concerns.

John Beaton looks at the monitor

John Beaton looks at the monitor at Rugby Park, Kilmarnock v Celtic, 14 September 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

MIBBERY – 5/10 – Johnny B from Orange County did his best. Three nonsensical Bhoy bookings and a host of free-kicks to facilitate Killie’s aerial bombardments. Everything was going well until the fates – and the forces of light – intervened, and his worst nightmare played out. Had to give it. To his credit – managed to still point in the rough direction of the spot through burning tears and the rushing mental trauma thundering in his eardrums and scrambling his cognitive process. Surprised he managed to blow his whistle while gagging. Har-de-har.

The Celtic Board

The Celtic Board at Rugby Park, Kilmarnock v Celtic, 14 September 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

OVERALL – 6.5/10 – Ayrshire Zombies ragin’ – check. Wee Eddie Munster ragin’ – check. Diets ragin’ because they thought they were top of the league until the last kick of the game – check. Their Big Cousins still perma-ragin’ and ragin’ some more even after their horsing in the interbreeding incestuous hillbilly-cousin-pumping derby yesterday where the Minis were surprising givers instead of takers… – check. Carlsberg still doing footy weekends – check. Just. Like the 12th man we didn’t hear until the 20th minute, the team took a while to get into any sort of groove and continually fell right back out of it, so it seemed.

Sack The Board banner

Sack The Board banner at Rugby Park, Kilmarnock v Celtic, 14 September 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

‘Sack the board, sack the board, sack the board’ became ‘We are bored, we are bored, we are bored’, but deep into the second period we clicked a bit and managed enough to pin them back for a while.

That we didn’t kill them off was always going to be a contention at a venue that’s bitten us before, and it transpired again that we would be left frustrated and rueful.

Or did it…

Sack The Board protest

Sack The Board protest at Rugby Park, Kilmarnock v Celtic, 14 September 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

For there was us, hardly lighting up the miserable coffin-lid skies but forcing the issue to the very death and scraping out three precious points that’ll actually do us more psychological good than physical or data-point good… The stuff champions are made of and draw belief from?

Well…check.

Go Away Now

Sandman

Celtic in the Eighties – Out now, it’s our fastest selling book ever and accordingly stocks are now very low indeed, so get it while you can!…

Celtic in the Eighties by the late, great David Potter is out now on Celtic Star Books. Celtic in the Eighties is now available in the Celtic superstore and all other club shops. And don’t forget that you can still purchase your copy directly from Celticstarbooks.com for same day postage.

Order Celtic in the Eighties today, you’ll be glad you did, it’s a fabulous read!

Celtic in the Eighties by David Potter

OUT NOW! Celtic in the Eighties by David Potter. Foreword by Danny McGrain. Published on Celtic Star Books. Click on image to order.

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor David Faulds has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email [email protected]

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3 Comments

  1. Tounekti —One from the bottom drawer whose going to be a Celtic Star in the making . It’s good , at last , to see a Celtic winger ~(Jota excluded) who doesn’t turn back , when they receive the ball . He’s got speed , skill , balance and most of all confidence . One for the future , even on the basis of one game on a tortuous pitch .
    Balikwishi —Who the F**K is doing the scouting for Celtic ? On the basis of two part -games , this lad doesn;t look as though he’s seen a ball before ; never mind play football with it . I hate to criticise anyone (Especially a Celtic player ) but , once again we’ve been sold a “Pup” .
    The new striker —-( I can’t even pronounce his name , never mind write it) —Obviously not match fit but some good runs and flicks & touches—-Could be an asset especially in Europe .

  2. Brian McAllister on

    1950’s level Blackpool stand up comedian gag about Balikwisha and his ‘tan’. Fucking garbage mate. Real Gammon with Alzheimer’s stuff. Think you’re funnier than you actually are. Silly old cnut.