Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Tommyknockers

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v TOMMYKNOCKERS

“Take a deep breath and focus on what’s really important.” – Wayne Dyer.

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 7/10 – Now THAT’S a save! Almost better than Thursday, this time with added treachery from Liam, nicking it over him with spin like Shane Warne. But the old man’ reflexes were still sharp as Austin Trusty’s cup semi-final studs and he pulled off miraculous fingertip defiance to keep us ahead. That crucial save was the highlight of another solid outing, capping safe handling all round and a clean sheet to defy his recent critics.

SCRATCHY – N/A – Is Lennoxtown built over a cursed Injun burial ground? In timely coincidence we’ve now lost more men than they did on the first day of the Somme. If Celts continue to fall at the current rate then I’ll be looking out my boots again, and some of you will, too. Ghod help us.

PUSEY PATROL – 5.5/10 – Finally the Citeh kid with the Finbar Saunders surname gets to make his debut, meaning Jamesy has to be nowhere near the squad for… Reasons…And he took time to relax; understandable given the only football he’s seen in four months has been on his Playstation. Bit shaky overall, no upgrade on what we’ve seen to date with anyone else in the role, but kudos for going out on a promising high with a formidable wipeout tackle just before he was hooked.

OF JUSTICE – 6/10 – Better from Liam, though not quite Ginger Baresi levels of excellence as Killie’s lively frontline pulled him around for a while. But he didn’t crack under interrogation, – unlike Lee Wallace – and maintained composure when it counted to maintain the zero. Helped of course, by a Trusty defensive partner, every flaming pun intended…

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