Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Lasagne v Celtic

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ LASAGNE…

“Heroism is endurance for one moment more.” – George F. Kennan

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 8/10 – Made for him. All the experience and nous required to get us through the test of the season; pulled off some terrific stops, batting one away late on with a contemptuous fist like Lego Thanos, “Get Lost”. No chance with the goals, particularly the second which was the only time his bodyguards let him down by leaving inviting spaces. Kasper will have relished this one, moreso for his own
measure with the World Cup on the horizon – does he still have it to face up to the intensity at top level? Yes. Definitively. Haters gonna seethe.

KATIE – 7.5/10 – A dogged marvel, he’s become. Injury has taken its toll over the years and this KT is not the dynamic Bhoy of his youth. But his time at the top has stiffened his resolve for stringent examinations of his overall capabilities like last night. To be honest, it looked dire as their trickiest customer with the acceleration of a coked-up cheetah found a lot of early joy down KT’s wing. But he didn’t fold. He got to grips, got closer, used his wits. Second-half he tucked in with the centre backs when Bolt Junior went central, and joined in the Spartan heroics.

OF JUSTICE – 8.5/10 – The Wicklow Wonder, the Banrdarigg Beckenbauer, the Ginger Baresi – all fanciful nomenclatures bestowed with no little irony… But Liam continues to have the last laugh by living up to those hallowed titles with performances like this. Nary a foot put wrong when one inch out of synch would invite disaster. If you can’t see the acute positional instinct of the much-maligned Irish underdog in matches such as these then you best go back to your Playstation FIFA and Pornhub subscription because the rigours of the real thing ain’t for you, Smokey. Liam laser-focussed and sometimes prophetic, a phenomenal exhibition of calm under pressure and incisive intervention.

“It shows the mentality of the team”

Auston Trusty reflects on Celtic’s 2-2 draw with Bologna…

🎙️ @missconniemac

📺 @tntsports & @discoveryplusUK pic.twitter.com/IFqsVcPzqS

— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) January 22, 2026

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 9.5/10 MOTM – There’s not much more you can do as a defender at this level bar stud the Zombaby Ferguson tastily enough so it leaves a mark. And you get your perfect 10/10…But leaving that one error aside, let’s all remember the stoical awesomeness of the big Yank’s 95 minutes of thunderous defensive magnificence and attacking valour. Arse, baws and heid kept them out, and his big toe won a point.

Let’s also remember, Brendanistas, who had isolated him earlier in the season in the name of… Well, flaming sabotage really… Left so far out in the cold his nickname became ‘The ICE agent’. His form had slipped a little recently, and injury sidelined him. But here he was, back on the chain-gang with no little axe to grind and the Lasagne frontline’s efforts got ‘pick’-ed off (flaming pun intended!) time and time again by the outstanding hero of all the night’s heroes.

MELLOW YELLOW – 8/10 – The kid was great. Easy to fold and take the beating. But he’s got the correct competitive spirit for that jersey and looked like he was enjoying the scrap. Took his cue from the older lads and made every decision count, not a foot wrong when the heat was on. Even found time to attack Zombaby Ferguson with what seemed to be his nipples but came off second best; needs to watch more MMA.

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