Celtic 5 The Rangers 0 – Then some Delicious Zombie Misery

CELTIC then beat them 5-0 at Celtic Park to win the league for the seventh consecutive season. The Zombie Hordes did not take this latest stuffing well at all. Here’s a selection of what they had to say as reported on The Celtic Star…

“Another absolutely gutless display. Any self respecting manager should resign after a performance like that. As for the players, there is not one of them who deserves to pull on a Rangers jersey ever again.

“I’m disgusted and embarrassed by that showing today, even more so than the cup semi, because you would have thought they would want to repay supporters who have had to endure their spineless performances all season.”

They love a slogan…

“Leave them (to) enjoy their tainted title party. If they do the 9 in a row, then the there will be a pretty big asterix attached to it! Seriously that great team of Gaza Laudrup et all would with the floor with that (Celtic) side.At the end of the day we are Rangers.We won’t be down forever, and the arrogance of their players and supporters, during their run of 7 seven tainted titles in a row, will one day come back to haunt them. Payback is a b!tch they say. Times are tough right now, but we’ll be back sooner rather than later. No surrender we are the people we are Rangers.”

This one, I think, is using sexual violence, to suggest that Rangers are dead..

“That wasn’t even a raping. More like necrophillia because a rape victim’s at least still got a pulse…”

Nice use of the number 7 here…

“Today was all the fault of the board. They need to say sorry to the fans, this season was always going to end th7s way when they appointed Murty.”

It’s a shambles…

“Is Murty still here after that the players are not playing for him or the club and should be sacked it’s a shambles beyond belief.”

What’s Stevie G thinking?

“He’s probably thinking, what an opportunity. That scum team are there for the taking with a decent team. How many points are they ahead of Aberdeen? Pumped by Hearts, Kilmarnock and Hibs. Wasn’t that long ago we were within 6 points of them…..with that side ! He’ll be rubbing his hands mate.”

Re-building required…

“Gutless performance from the players and tactically inept by the manager. The sooner this cluster*ck of a season is over, the better. The next manager is going to have to boot the *rse of whoever is not cleared out at the end of the season. Major rebuilding and attitude adjustments are required.”

Spending other people’s money…

“£20m wont fix us, it’s a complete overall from top to bottom McGregor and Arfield are 2 decent signings for no fee and we’d need a few more like that then at least £30m from there, Souness’ clear out was big this will be bigger back in those days Rangers could pay big transfer fees and for that period big wages we cant now. If it is Stevie G that takes over he will really need to be shrewd in his buy’s (sic) or loans he could make some very good young players his target (on loan at least Brewster / Solanke would be 2 great loan signings) He would need a complete backroom change also.”

Worst in 60 years…*

“We have (b)een saying that for about 4 seasons now. I have been watching us for over 60 years and this is the worst I have felt. At least during their 9IAR we had players with fight and playing for the jersey and just missed out a couple of times.”

*Club was only formed in 2012.

Decent performance from their goalie…

“Shameful performance which most of us knew was coming. If it wasn’t for Alnwick it would have been 8 or 9. Can’t wait for this sh*t-show of a season to be over.”

The case for the defence…

“I think it’s going to take £15 million to fix the defence alone. That includes a couple of useable backup options. There is literally nothing at the club defensively speaking – and it’s not just about a first 11.”

Gutted, so he is…

“Gutted I had to witness that today. No hunger, no drive and no fight.
Growing up through 9IAR, all I knew was winning and saw players that were winners and would do anything to win and for the jersey. This current crop of players might have talent but they don’t have the fight and desire to win and it’s that fight and desire to win that makes you a Ranger! That’s what we need next season and I think we will see a huge turnaround in players because I see no fight in this squad whatsoever.”

It must be true, Dave King said so…

“Are we to believe King is going to give an untested manager £20 odd million?”

What a weak it has been…

“We are physically very weak. Easy to knock us off the ball, lose out to 50 50 challenges, scared to get stuck in. Physically lacking in strength. Man City have just brought on a 19 year old, built like a brick sh*t house, we need stronger fitter players.”

Not even trying…

“Firstly, if they put in some effort granted we probably wouldn’t have beaten them, but I highly doubt we’d have taken a 5-0 tanking. Second of all, the absolute minimum we should expect is 100 percent effort. They pull on the jersey, they should be putting in every ounce of effort they can gather. Effort doesn’t mean we will beat them granted, that takes both talent and effort. But effort gives us some dignity and we’re right to expect that.”

Men against boys…

“You can see that our players are scared of them. We back off constantly rather than try and challenge. It’s like like boys against men, sadly.”

Day Dreaming…

“I cannot even bring myself to read all the posts. Those fraudsters should be erased from the history of the Gers* – mainly wearing a shirt and breaking all worst records whilst they are at it.

“Absolute c@&nts. This Celtic team are not even all that! That is what makes it worse. Can only live in hope that next year their tainted worthless titles will become a distant memory and that we are, in fact, back where we belong. No tangible evidence to support this – but can but dream!”

A bunch of dwarfs..

“Look at set pieces and we look like a bunch of dwarfs. How anyone can think the likes of Russell Martin could command a penalty box in Scottish football is a breathtaking mystery to me.

“However that combined with cowardice or fear means that even the tims smaller players can out-muscle us. It’s a joint effort of unpreparedness for these games. The tims by and large treat us with contempt no matter what size they are. We have scared little men, being led by a scared little man.”

Deluded…

“This notion that a team of fighters for the jersey may have resulted in more favourable outcomes against them is deluded. We were outplayed by a far superior football team today. Superior in every area of the pitch. It was men v boys stuff. Our standard of player is miles behind them. Until we improve our standard of player we will continue to play second fiddle to them.”

Second best…

“The lack of aggression and fight is astounding. We look weaker and and a lot less fitter than them. Second to most balls. You can understand why the two senior players were exasperated by this and spoke out.”

Not rocket science…

“As I said last week if Murty stays in charge we will be lucky to win our remaining games, he should walk now, in fact should have resigned on the final whistle let Jimmy Nicholl take the remainder of the games. I still maintain a good manager could put out a winning team with the players we have just has to get formation tactics and motivation instilled not rocket science, something Murty lacks completely.”

About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor, who has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email editor@thecelticstar.co.uk

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