Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic at the Sheep’s Boudoir

SUBS –

WAYNE GRETZKY – N/A – Surprised to see The Moose up North as it’s hunting season and a few teuchters would have had their shotguns at the game. Escaped unscathed, thankfully.

TAKINTE – N/A – Cameo, but even in those sparkling minutes of involvement the dancing feet look back in lethal
Riverdance mode.

DUNCAN IDAHO – 6.5/10 – “You cannot petition the Lord with prayer!” Yelled Jim Morrison. “Well, can we still ask him the hell does big Idah get twenty goals in a season where he’s appeared to do hee-all, Jim?” And thus it was proven the Lord does work in mysterious ways.

🗣️ “It was a poor challenge from Gueye, he obviously lost his head a wee bit”

Brendan Rodgers on Reo Hatate’s injury just before the full-time whistle was blown ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/pCWgqON4Yh

— Sky Sports Scotland (@ScotlandSky) May 14, 2025

HAKUNA HATATE – N/A – Damn! Smashed by the big Gayee rasta streak of Colin Nish and now his season (and maybe Celtic) finale hangs in the balance.

FORK HANDLE – 6/10 – Whit? The kid’s back, hanging about the dugout looking young-team-threatening so the boss gives him some more minutes. And that was it, so you might have thought – get a kick or two, back doon the swing-park after dark tonight for a Mad Dug swally with the lads, knock over a few bins, maybe even finally take out that streetlamp with a well-pitched stone chip out of auld McClung’s front garden…No! This kid had me sitting up taking notes – a lefty with natural balance, poise, movement and a lovely sweet eye for nicking a devastating corner pass around static defenders at the edge of the box. Plus he had a dig himself only to be denied a sensational first goal. One to watch, in every sense. May have a player on our hands. Trust me here. Seventeen…Fantastic. The Ginger Yamal.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continues on the next page…