Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic at the Sheep’s Boudoir

JAMESY – 7.5/10 – My God, does Jamesy have us all edging…Legendary folklore reminds us he’s never had a problem getting it up (Ladies…) but after sixteen seasons it seems that getting it IN has become a problem. Could this be…(sharp intake of breath) Whisper it: impotence? After a sclaff past a gaping goal, and two assists (mere foreplay to The Flash) he even tried sneakily sliding one in late on, but the keeper’s lagging boot saved his virtue and denied the Prestwick Pele his record. So onto Last Stand Saturday and the search for the elusive golden goal. Dear Ghod, the tension. ‘Mon the Jamesy – pop it in, do it for glass collectors everywhere!

KENNY JOHNNY – 7/10 – Snake-hipped hipster gets his requested start (by Me, Brendan. Thanks for reading and heeding…) and rewards us all with a deadly snapped header for his first Celtic goal. Had to graft his way into this one, shuttling for space all game prior, but the jhoy of the strike made the legwork worth it. Now we have an interesting and concrete pacy prospect as we seek another reliable striker.

YING – 6.5/10 – The wee mhan might not be getting his Nat King but there’s maybe a Korean face-time factor behind tonight’s return to previous Yang impact levels. A sharply taken goal and a couple of close-calls; has a knack of finding space and timing runs, with his own footwork a useful threat too.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continues on the next page…