Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Aston Martin

A strong #UCL campaign for the Bhoys in the new group phase format! 💪✨

Looking forward to welcoming either @realmadrid or @FCBayern to Paradise in the knockout play-off round! 🏟️#CelticFC🍀 pic.twitter.com/TJz7JmeVMO

— Celtic Football Club (@CelticFC) January 29, 2025

CALMAC – 6.5/10 – The Captain went to war after 20 minutes and we got our foot in the door. Then we smashed
it against their heads a couple of times and it looked for a period that he might take over the middle like they were some SPL jobbers; Like the Zombies for example…But different levels are inhabited by different breeds of jungle cat – after the break Calmac got overrun and hunted down. Failed to establish decent possession and was reduced to hustling for scraps. This can be alleviated somewhat…See the manager’s bit…

THE TERMINATOR – 6.5/10 – All the promise, all the flashes of quality – fantastic linking backheel-flick to instigate the equaliser; a piece of lightning wit that big Kev Bridges in the stand would whistle in admiration at. But that vibrating possibility of harmonic inventiveness got flattened into a dull base grind as he found himself chasing and covering too much towards the left where Greggs and Ying were twitching on the Villa hook. Energy sapped, he too got a hook after being rolled for the third by ‘John McGinn’s gigantic arse’.* There is possibly a way to free his mind and legs some more, particularly in CL games and particularly with what we’re due to face…
See the manager’s bit…

*(© Gerry Creaney-Arsepads Inc.)

HAKUNA HATATE – 7.5/10 – Damn, it’s that Reo… No wait! It’s THAT Reo. With another ZZ twist and turn in the middle, the real Reo Hatate announced himself into the game. Such maverick guile – instrumental in both goals, missed a great chance himself, arrowed one narrowly past second-half which would have rocked them at 3-3. For all his Michelin Star service, he’s still willing to do the dishes: shuttling until fatigued across their backline, providing the – “Traitor, San!” – Kyogo hustle our enigmatic big Centre-forward lacked a little…Unfortunately all those hard yards meant Reo, too, was creatively burnt out, further sabotaging our offensive possibilities. This can be extended, however, maybe…See the manager’s bit…

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