Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Cthulhu’s Spawn

TAKINTE – 6.5/10 – His recent toil has been costly ; we need that high-energy impact his electric and unpredictable wing-play has brought so often. And for a while it seemed he was still in the doldrums, seeking a tailwind. Then he found his touch, sparked into devastating life and laid on two goals. On the way back for a rousing season finale?

LORD KATSUMOTO – 7.5/10 – Every Tory’s favourite Labour PM, Starmer, wants to ban samurai swords. Because, obviously, nobody will then stab anybody ever again…Well, he’ll not dull ours; sharp as the edge of reality, in he went for a first slotted home like a Larsson tribute and added to just on half-time with a Sutton 6-2 special tap-in. How many’s that? Hell knows, as they say in Japan – it’s all about the anime madness and Daizen’s this season’s Akira.

NOTEBOOK – 6.5/10 – As with Calmac, he’s not fully-fit but was wildly ignited enough to trouble the Zombies when we eventually used him, and today despite lingering on the periphery a while, you cannot keep a top chanter out of the limelight. In he came with a period of torment and delight and was fleet of foot to pounce on a rebound to let us see he might be short on match condition but his celebration-fitness is still peak.

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