Sandman's Definitive Ratings - Celtic v The Angus Catacombs

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Dundee v Celtic. 19 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 2/10 – Outwitted tactically by a side who appear to be managed by an angry owl. Are we now past the stage of Brendanistas bleating that “Brendan’s making a point…” with his team selection to emphasise the paucity of his squad. Or can we now consider that he’s maybe running out of ideas and enthusiasm?

🗣️ “Bitterly disappointing, both in result and performance”

Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers gives his post-match thoughts after defeat away to Dundee ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/UMFNJan2Yk

— Sky Sports Scotland (@ScotlandSky) October 19, 2025

Yet again, in magnificent insane repetition, Calmac ends up sitting isolated in front of the centre-backs as the two attacking midfielders ahead of him almost cancel one another out, with Negan evaporating somewhere between their lines. So back-and-side-and-back-and-side we go due to the congestion.

Michael Nicholson and Chris McKay. Dundee v Celtic. 19 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

The life’s being choked out of a once vibrant, free-scoring green machine by unproductive tactics for the umpteenth time. The repeated concept that free-flowing football will come with evisceration of the board is cognitive dissonance on Zombie levels. The dugout is Celtic’s current problem, and the diminishing passion within it for establishing a notable playing style…

Referee Matthew MacDermid. Dundee v Celtic. 19 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

MIBBERY – 6/10 – Aside from disappointing us all with actual competence on a VAR penalty call, the goatworriers’ delegation didn’t have to do much today as we willingly took the shotgun and pointed it at our overpriced footwear.

OVERALL – 2/10 – When does a recognised, valid fan protest then turn into repetitive and disruptive interference by annoying, attention-seeking wee Richards? I’ll leave that one up for debate. Curious to see an Astley playing for Dundee because they hadn’t beaten us up there since his Dad, Rick, was at number one. So 37 years later,
here we flaming go…

Dundee v Celtic. 19 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

Lacking our famed attacking wit and guile, Celtic are flimsy, bereft of substance, looking an easy touch if you can ally physical prowess with mental discipline. Exactly how the Tayside blues handled it – daring us to play in front of them, ready to slap us on a speedy counter.

🔥 Dundee stun the champions Celtic to close another action-packed weekend in the Scottish Premiership ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/ntVsofH3d9

— Sky Sports Scotland (@ScotlandSky) October 19, 2025

All the possession in the world means nothing if you can’t do anything with it, and we’re not gallus enough to take the brave option or drilled enough to switch up gears and use a higher tempo to run the legs off opposition. So Elvis isn’t dead after all, he’s just been hiding in Dundee. And he’s back with a hit that’ll go down well across the country, especially in the seedy bowels of Gorgie.

Dundee v Celtic. 19 October 2025. Photo Vagelis Georgariou (The Celtic Star)

As for us, racking up another scoreless venture into tedium, we got the slap in the face that’s been coming for a while, domestically. Whether the Bhoys give some back with interest in classic Celtic-style, or go cry in a corner, is the season-defining response that will dictate the next few crucial games.

Oh, to conclude: Big Ange is free again. Just sayin’…

Go Away Now

Sandman

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