Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v The Angus Catacombs

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ THE ANGUS CATACOMBS…

“You are responsible for the predictable consequences of your actions,”  Noam Chomsky

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6/10 – Booked for being angry, like the rest of us, having to watch the shambles unfold ahead of him. And behind him at kick-off…Nothing he could do about the goals as his defence betrayed his
confidence and indulged in sabotage.

TONY THE TIGER – 5/10 – A tiger becomes a sacrificial lamb. Hooked at half-time for ‘tactical reasons’ when we’d have been better sending him up the wing and pinning a medal on him for tolerating Yang for 45 minutes.

KATIE – 2.5/10 –  Nightmare. This is not the KT we ordered; skinned at will, looking less than confident in his own ability as demonstrated with a fluff when presented with a sitter to immediately put us back in the game at 0-1. Expect Scratchy next outing.

OF JUSTICE – 3.5/10 – Of all people to lose his composure, we could have done without the sweeper-upper falling apart on us. Got the best of a ginger-on-ginger death match for most of the opening half, appearing as the ‘before’ image in a before/after example of chemical weapons exploding in your face. But after he’d been Strictly-ed for their second, Liam lacked his usual defining presence and his decision-making became erratic.

GET CARTER – 2.5/10 – Oh, dear. The big mhan was a yard off the pace and a geological era out of time, mentally. Lost like an autistic puppy for the opening goal, as bewildered as a Bear in a trophy room at their second, which
he ended up bundling in himself.

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