Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v The Feral Bairns

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UNCANNY – 5.5/10 – This kid gets a pass because this kid grew up with Barcelona professionals and today’s culture shock might have been crippling for many. I don’t know if Barca found him out in the woods but he must have felt like a feral outcast for large parts of his involvement as the defence around him flustered and abandoned him to flurries of speedy assaults down our left. Yet he played to instruction – forged forward when he could and showed some quality; the cushioned header for the equaliser a peach of awareness and touch. His direct opponent was quite a stern test given the boy’s pace and energy, so all-in a fair enough debut under the conditions.

CALMAC – 6/10 – Irritated and tired about summed up the skipper’s demeanour and performance levels. His frustration was evident at the lack of urgency in our centre-backs’ distribution; appeared a man wanting this cup-tie decided as soon as possible. Not to be, and it was only really around the 64th minute when the real Calmac took some charge after a bit of respite. Then the game opened up for us as he closed-down their middle, utilising our additional midfielders (Arnie in tandem with Reo by then) to pin them in and finish them off. Finally.

HAKUNA HATATE – 5/10 – It’s good when Reo wakes up. Like for the equaliser, clipping in a delightful ball. Them in the final quarter of the game as he too benefited from Arnie’s inclusion and pushed on into higher spaces, giving Falkirk too much to cope with. But overall he was absent too often in a match he really should have been running.

SAINT BERNARDO – 7.5/10 – Thank Ghod (whose birthday it was last week) for big Paulo. Somebody at it from the off. May have had a hat-trick among sterling industry and real positive intent. As it was, demonstrated his foot-like-a-traction -engine finishing ability to prove the festive Skelping was but a taster. His drive and tenacity held the team together while the rest attempted to find their feet and get the pace. Does he now deserve a start? Clue: the answers’s similar to the one for ‘Does your average Zombie incubate rabies and syphilis all at once?’

Continued on the next page…

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About Author

The Celtic Star founder and editor David Faulds has edited numerous Celtic books over the past decade or so including several from Lisbon Lions, Willie Wallace, Tommy Gemmell and Jim Craig. Earliest Celtic memories include a win over East Fife at Celtic Park and the 4-1 League Cup loss to Partick Thistle as a 6 year old. Best game? Easy 4-2, 1979 when Ten Men Won the League. Email editor@thecelticstar.co.uk

2 Comments

  1. Incredible game and also well done to Falkirk and their fans. They played and excellent part in it which was so refreshing. They are better than any of the sides we have played so far in the league.

    Two points that have been missed, although it may be a bit churlish to mention them.

    One – notice the Falkirk wingers pull on Celtic’s LB at their 1st goal. This foul prevents him from attempting to block the shot. May he could have blocked, but maybe not. Nevertheless, it was a foul which the ref and linesman missed.

    Secondly, for the VAR analysis at their 2nd goal, the winger again fouled a Celtic player, play went on and they scored. We all thought (including the commentator) that the VAR check was for the foul, however, in a clever distraction VAR checked for offside instead, thus allowing the goal to be awarded. SUBTLE!

  2. CCV cannot be rested! Simple as that. Why BR didnae debut Trusty beside CCV is VERY strange .. unless slight niggle. Welsh & Palma shouldnae play for us again.

    Felt sorry for young Valle as he was def held at the first goal & that is exactly what VAR is SUPPOSED to be for. Having Palma, Trusty & fuckin Welsh beside young Valle .. & a Hatate who needs dropped was no easy debut for the kid. Deserves a 2nd chance
    .
    Hatate needs tae ask himself why the Japan manager won’t play him & not blame the league he’s playin in. Engels, Bernardo & Calmac best midfield at the moment imho.

    Shame McCowan was cup-tied.