
Celtic v Falkirk 29.10.2025, Scottish Premiership. Sebastian Tounekti scores. Photo Kenny Ramsay IMAGO
TUTANKHAMUN – 6.5/10 – Boy’s got enthusiasm and a finish. Banished the ghost of Mikey J with an imposingly-adventurous night; he took his man on with intent rather than hope and gave them torrid moments when we could facilitate him time on the ball.

Celtic v Falkirk 29.10.2025 Scottish Premiership. Johnny Kenny goal 1-0. Photo Kenny Ramsay IMAGO
KENNY JOHNNY -8/10 MOTM – Martin’s in the door a day and JK’s turned into flaming Henrik. Swashbuckling goals and more focal play in one half than he’s managed in a Celtic jersey to date. Sunday will be his litmus test but he’ll be going into it on a wave of confidence and belief. And given he’ll be up against a poorer side than tonight, maybe that’ll be the hat-trick game…
JAMESY – 6.5/10 – Only a quarter of a century later has Martin considered it safe to return to the Prestwick Pele’s killing fields, being careful to keep his daughters out of the eyeline of Ayrshire’s Johnny Sins all these years. By way of tribute – and relief – Jamesy got a start and rewarded the new-boss-same-as-the-old-but-two-decades-old-I-mean-boss… with a rousing – easy ladies… – display of swashbuckling wing-play; provided the cross of the season in a late first-half flurry that asked to be bulleted in; A satisfying night from Jamesy. That’s what she said.
IMAGINE WHAT MARTIN COULD DO IF THE BOARD BACKED HIM. FUCK YOU BRENDONISTAS. BEAT IT WITH YOUR MESSIAH.