SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v COUNTRYFILERS
“Ooooooh, on your knees, Zombies! O hear the Celts voices!
O night divine, O night when Henrik was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!”– ‘O Holy Night’, Elvis.
THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6/10 – Donating heavily to the Brass Monkey Protection League this Xmas period in total empathy, Kasper had his second day off in a row. Amused himself, and us, with some heiders and threw in a sweet half-volley pass for his party trick. Will look to complete his festive treble-snooze on Thursday…
UNCANNY – 6.5/10 – Lot of football in his dainty boots. Enthusiastically in about them from the off, always popping up to link and create. A footballer’s footballer; you can take the kid out of Barcelona but you can’t…
WAYNE GRETZKY – 7/10 – Welcome back. The Moose returns form the Canadian wilderness just in time to thaw out against the cattle-wrangling Saints (not the drug-running Paisley ones…) for a trip to the footballing tundra later this week. And how he was clicking – in tune with Kuhn within minutes to set up the first of many fine openings carved out down our swashbuckling right flank. Now go eat, sleep, repeat, please.
OF JUSTICE – 6.5/10 – From a MOTM stint on Boxing Day to another food-for-Brendan’s-thoughts outing today. Not a foot wrong, though under no great pressure. However, with no Calmac in front to collect and disperse, the Barndarrig Beckenbauer produced good composure and insight while on the ball, maintaining structure and finding the passes we needed. Should we expect his red blazing locks to be turning the faces of the Zombies a similar hue in four days’ time? Hmm.
GET CARTER – 6.5/10 – Another bhoy cutting his fangs for Thursday. Defensively untested, but offensively more involved and may have scored at least once with his many forays into the opposition box. Just getting his sights in…
THE TERMINATOR – 7.5/10 – Well, here’s the bhoy we expect. Confidence is massive at the Celtic level and although he’s not evidently been lacking, there have been a few questions raised around his self-belief and output. Today he seized the game early. Got those swift, precise feet of a top player in synch and put them to near-spectacular use; foiled by the keeper and luck from notching one himself but again produced the pass of the day –
sensational swept cross into Kyogo for goal number three. Surprisingly hooked after 66 minutes, but I do hope it’s with a future start in mind.
SAINT BERNARDO – 8/10 MOTM – Managerial Xmas conundrum #1. Just as your 11 million bucks prodigy is beginning to light up Paradise like a (this metaphor in no way condones the use of dangerous fireworks – they should be handled by trained professionals only, or a thick Bear with no need for opposing thumbs) party pyro, your Portuguese U-23 captain decides he’ll get in one the showcasing act and demonstrates a consummate command of midfield dynamism. Dig, guile and purpose. From a bouncer providing the midfield security, to the provider – his excellent afternoon crowned by setting up two goals; one he deserved himself for the pass-and-move input, the other a sublime ball to play in Daizen.
HAKUNA HATATE – 7/10 – A typical Reo day – not quite at the races in spells, but exploding into the match with a moment of creative genius to assist the opening goal. His awareness, step-over and pass – exceptional quality. Managerial conundrum #2 – can you afford to leave those matchwinning moments on Thursday’s bench?
YING – 6/10 – Busy as the Korean border guard, but never quite unleashed his skilful potential. ‘Positive water-carrying’ would be the Korean translation of his overall involvement. Three games in a row he’s started with intent but at least this time persistence gets him a pass and complimentary Prosecco for effort, if not a celebratory New Year champers.
KILLER MUSHROOM – 7/10 – Aaaannnndddd…Heeeeeere’s Kyogo! Bang on time, bang on the year’s end, the wee mhan finds the knack once more and the poison darts get loaded for Mordor. Like Yang, persistence beats their
resistence, and in Kyogo’s case it’s persistence of movement, of tireless shifting and plotting and sneaking and sprinting, finding space like King Henrik himself to poach one and stab home Arne’s wonderful delivery. New Year Hat-trick incoming…
TAKINTE – 7.5/10 – It’s the Kuhn! Crimefighting, ‘Skelping South Park superhero returns with a vengeance. A jhoy to watch as he moves in terrifying fluidity like some supernatural shapeshifter, gliding past opponents, drifting tantalisingly in onto that lethal left peg. Nailed one, defied by save of the day for another belter. He’s going to relish the Death Star lunatic Brazilian left back’s attempts to stifle him. Can’t wait.
Have a good one yirsell, Sandman. Loving your work.